


From Despair Comes Hope

by RELYCH



Series: From Despair Comes Hope [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, But He Doesn't Realize Either, But She Is Super Busy With Her N.E.W.T.S. And Doesn't Realize, Dobby (Harry Potter) Lives, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Harry Potter Needs a Hug, Hermione Granger is a Good Friend, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Ron Weasley is a Good Friend, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Severus Snape Has a Heart, Severus Snape Lives, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:42:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 35,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23565499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RELYCH/pseuds/RELYCH
Summary: Warning: This story has heavy suicidal and self-harm themes and actions. Descriptions of self-harm and sucidial actions in some chapters.Harry Potter defeated Voldermort, attended the funerals of those who were lost, and spoke at the trials of those who didn't deserve Azkaban. After an incredibly difficult summer after the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry falls into a deep depression and knows that he shouldn't have survived the Battle. Believing the only way to right this incredible wrong, he takes matters into his own hands. However fate seems to keep intervening, and he decides that dying at Hogwarts might be the better option.After Draco Malfoy saves Harry, they start to slowly open up about their problems. Although Harry came to Hogwarts to finally end his suffering, he discovers a world that might just be worth living in.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Blaise Zabini
Series: From Despair Comes Hope [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862005
Comments: 51
Kudos: 399





	1. The Letter Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Descriptions of self-harm and sucidial actions. Not beta'd.

Harry looked at the ceiling above him. He was lying on his back in his room at number 12 Grimmauld Place. The whole room was dirty and dusty because he had forbidden Kreacher from entering. He gave the order and then took out his wand to cut his wrists with the intention of dying again. However, Kreacher ignored his order and rushed in saving Harry’s life. Harry had been so angry that Kreacher saved his life; Kreacher had croaked, close to tears, that house-elves could disobey their masters in matters of life and death, and he wasn’t going to let Harry die. Harry felt bad for upsetting Kreacher, but couldn’t help be resentful that his plan failed.

After that time, Harry had attempted a couple more times when he had ordered Kreacher to do something, but Kreacher seemed to always know when Harry’s wand had cut, and rushed to save him. The last time he had sent Kreacher to the market and tried to take his own life, but, as luck would have it, Hermione had decided to check on him. She barely saved him in time. Harry had been unconscious for three days after that attempt, and Hermione didn’t leave his side the whole time. He had expected her to yell at him, call him selfish, say he was a terrible friend, and turn her back on him, but she didn’t. She had looked at him with a concerned look on her face and begged him to see a Mind Healer; it wasn’t until she had started crying that he agreed to look into it. 

That was a week ago, and Harry’s first session with a healer was supposed to be two hours ago. However, Harry just couldn’t get up, he could only stare at the ceiling with his thoughts being blanketed by a cloudy feeling in his head. Harry heard footsteps and voices whispering. He didn’t have the energy to look up when the door opened, and still didn’t know who was there when they approached his bed.

“Oh, Harry,” he heard Hermione say with despair in her voice, “I was afraid I would find you like this. I thought you were going to a Mind Healer today, what happened?”

Harry still couldn’t move his head to look at her, or any part of his body. The feeling of uselessness was too strong, and made it impossible to do more than blink. He heard Hermione sigh, and then felt her sit down on the bed beside him. 

“What can I do to help, Harry? I’m concerned about you; you’re my best friend, and you’re not taking care of yourself. Kreacher told me that you haven’t eaten anything in three days, haven’t left your room in that time, and haven’t said anything since last week.” 

Harry could hear her voice breaking, and knew she was going to start crying. Despair at making his friend cry warred with the desire to just wilt away. Hermione doesn’t deserve this, you git, pull yourself together. With that thought, Harry felt the cloudiness lift away from his brain a bit and sighed. He pushed himself up slightly, and had to breathe through the nausea and lightheadedness. It had been too long since he ate, and his body was angry at him for it. 

Hermione had her face in her hands, and was obviously distraught.He didn’t know what to say to her, but he opened his mouth to try. No sound came out, only a noise that sounded like he was choking. Hermione jerked her face up, and tried smiling at Harry. It was not very convincing, as there were still tears streaming down her face. She wiped her eyes hastily with her sleeve. He noticed a letter in her hands, and wondered what it was. She noticed where his eyes had moved to and brightened. 

“It’s a letter from Hogwarts for you. I got one earlier today, which is why I came over. Would you like me to read it to you?” Hermione didn’t wait for his answer and cleared her throat to read, 

“Dear Mr. Potter, It is our pleasure to inform you that you have been approved to come to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for an optional “8th” year, as last year’s studies were interrupted. We strive to give everyone the opportunity to receive their N.E.W.T.S. after actually being taught for a school year with no interruptions or dark intentions. We understand if you are hesitant to come back, but rest assured that every precaution has been put in place to make the school safe. We have also rebuilt the castle, with some adjustments, since part of the castle was damaged in the battle. Please owl us back whether you would like to attend by no later than July 31st, so we can appropriately prepare for the additional year of students. Enclosed is a list of your supplies.” 

Hermione stopped reading to look up at Harry and smile. She was visibly thrilled to have the opportunity to get her N.E.W.T.S., and Harry braved a smile back. It must have been a better reaction than she was hoping for, because she let out a small shriek. “Oh, Harry! Isn’t it wonderful? We can come back for a year without the threat of...,” she trailed off and looked less excited. Obviously worried about how Harry would respond to her almost saying Voldermort’s name, Hermione looked at his face anxiously. Harry acted like he didn’t catch the slip-up and kept his face blank. 

“Ron isn’t coming, of course. He has already started the Auror program that you both were accepted for, so he doesn’t see the point of going back. But will you join me for the year?” 

She looked hopeful, but Harry didn’t think she would be too surprised if he said no. He wanted to say no, but what else would he do for the year. Hermione obviously wanted him to join her, and he could thank his professors and friends for their help. It would be easier to finish himself without Kreacher around, as Kreacher would try his best to keep Harry alive. 

Harry nodded his head slightly, and Hermione let out another small shriek and hugged him. Then she started talking about getting food, and walked out of the room. Harry felt slightly bad that Hermione was excited about him joining her, when he was only doing it to make it easier to kill himself. Hermione walked back in with the food and an anxious look on her face.

“Oh, I forgot to mention. The new Minister of Magic decided an appropriate punishment for Snape was to force him to continue being Headmaster of Hogwarts. Much like most of the people our age, he’s on probation for the next five year, and the Minister is looking for good and substantial changes in Hogwarts to keep Snape out of Azkaban.” 

Harry felt a flair of anger, but it was gone as quickly as it came. He just blinked at Hermione, and shrugged. She visibly let out some of the tension from her shoulders at his lack of reaction. 

“I know it seems insane, but nobody else really wanted the position that would help. Also, when he gave out the punishment, it seemed like it made sense. Snape does hate children, so it would be a punishment. The Minister made sure that Snape wouldn’t be able to bully the students anymore, and he can’t show favoritism.” 

Harry snorted, and highly doubted that even the threat of Azkaban would keep Snape from being a bully or showing favoritism. However, Harry thought it would be a little fun to watch and see the year play out.


	2. The Letter Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco receives his letter to Hogwarts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta'd. Draco is angry, and maybe OOC. Sorry.

Draco and his mother sat in the dining room of Malfoy Manor, once a grand room but now had been tainted forever by the Dark Lord. Draco could not go into any part of the manor without awful memories seizing him; the Dark Lord had stained every inch of his childhood home. Draco often wondered if his mother felt the same way, but she would never tell him. His mother had not said a word to him for three days at this point, but he would not apologize for the harsh things he said to his father. His father was the reason the family had lost so much, and he deserved to be in Azkaban. 

Draco shook his head to dislodge the bitter thoughts, and reached for another piece of fruit. The morning owls hadn’t come yet, which was strange. He did not mention it to his mother, though, because she was very angry that every piece of mail in and out of the manor was being read. It was because both of them were on probation, and the ministry was worried that they were talking to some of the escaped Death Eaters. His mother thought it was a waste of time and resources, and resented the invasion of privacy. 

Draco idly wondered what he would do today; he should probably start looking at the jobs the Ministry was demanding he do to help improve his character. His mother did not approve of this either, but Draco was more than happy to spend five years at a job with Muggles when the alternative was Azkaban. 

He had spent four weeks in a cell there with his parents, and the horrors of the Dark Lord living in his house was constantly repeated in his mind, Katie Bell’s face was always at the forefront of his thoughts, Crabbe dying was repeated over and over, and any bit of happiness was replaced with bitterness towards his father. 

His family was one of the last to go before the Wizengamot, and he was sure that they would all spend the rest of their lives in one of those cells. Then the Saviour himself walked into the courtroom and testified for both Draco and his mother. Potter had apparently spoken at each of the trials of students in Hogwarts to ensure they would only get probation and community service, but never deigned to vouch for someone with the mark or old enough to make their own decisions. He testified for both of them and that was what got them five years probation and community service, although they got more than the rest of the people who stayed out of Azkaban. His father was sentenced to life in Azkaban, and Draco thought it was too easy of a punishment. 

The Daily Prophet still writes that he or his mother used the Imperius Curse on Potter, bought him off, and definitely got off too easy for their crimes. He didn’t know why his mother still read the garbage, but it was part of her daily routine. It was the only mail they usually received, as most of their old social circle didn’t want to tarnish their name by associating with the Malfoys. His mother had taken that blow rather hard, as she loved nothing more than the elite social circle of the wealthy. 

Finally the morning post came, and there were three owls dropping off mail. That was extremely strange, and explained the delay in the post. One dropped off the Daily Prophet to his mother, but the other two had letters for Draco. He untied the letters from each of the owls, fed them each a bit of bacon, and they all flew off. One was from Hogwarts and one was from the Minister of Magic. He cut open the letter from Hogwarts first, his heart beating in his throat.

>   
> Dear Mr. Malfoy, 
> 
> It is our pleasure to inform you that you have been approved to come to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for an optional “8th” year, as last year’s studies were interrupted. We strive to give everyone the opportunity to receive their N.E.W.T.S. after actually being taught for a school year with no interruptions or dark intentions. We understand if you are hesitant to come back, but rest assured that every precaution has been put in place to make the school safe. We have also rebuilt the castle, with some adjustments, since part of the castle was damaged in the battle. Please owl us back whether you would like to attend by no later than July 31st, so we can appropriately prepare for the additional year of students. Enclosed is a list of your supplies.
> 
> _Severus Snape  
>  Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry  
> Potions Master_   
> 

Draco blinked at the letter, and was extremely surprised that he was invited back after the last two years. Then he noticed there was a second letter.

>   
> Malfoy, 
> 
> Oho, boy-o. Last year was a strange one for sure, but never you mind that. When you come back, you’ll still be a Prefect. It was a decision that was taken out of my hands, don’t think otherwise, but it’s for your own protection. The younger years will be less likely to attack someone who can give them detention and take points. The Ministry of Magic thought it would help with the relations between the light and dark sides. Here’s your badge, and be in the Prefect cabin of the Express on September 1st. 
> 
> _Professor Horace Slughorn  
>  Head of Slytherin House  
> Potions Master  
> Many Other Titles That I Don’t Want to Write Out For You_   
> 

Draco felt anger rising up at the rudeness from Slughorn, but willed himself to calm down. He wouldn’t be going back to Hogwarts, that was for damn sure. He wouldn’t endure the looks and whispers from everyone judging him. With a snarl, Draco cut open the letter from the Minister.

>   
> Draco, 
> 
> I hope this letter finds you well. It is not a requirement for you to go back to Hogwarts, however I will extend the same deal to you that I did your former classmates. If you go back, prove to everyone that you deserve to be outside of Azkaban by studying hard and staying out of trouble, and get at least 4 N.E.W.T.S, then I will cut down your probation to 3 years. Your year in Hogwarts will count towards your probation. However, you injure anyone on purpose or get into too much trouble, graver consequences than the point system and detentions will be doled out. 
> 
> Also, all of the N.E.W.T.S. and O.W.L.S. from last year were marked unqualified since Hogwarts was not teaching much last year. You will need as many N.E.W.T.S. as possible to find a job in the magical world, with your background, so I would advise you to go and ignore Slughorn and the rest of the haters. Prove you belong. 
> 
> Enclosed is a new list of things for your community service should you go to Hogwarts, owl me your choice by Friday. 
> 
> _Kingsley Shacklebolt  
>  Minister of Magic_   
> 

Draco stared at the letter from the Minister and his anger deflated. He considered all three letters and wondered what he should do. He heard his mother clear her throat, and he looked up at her. She was staring at the letters in his hand intently; she obviously wanted him to tell her what they contained. He considered ignoring her, but decided that would be too petty.

“Apparently Hogwarts is offering to let us go to school for an eighth year, so we can have a decent chance to get N.E.W.T.S. The offer was extended to me, as well as the requirement that I come back as a Prefect. The third letter is from the Minister explaining why going to Hogwarts is beneficial for me.” 

His mother looked surprised at this information, but schooled her features to show no emotion like a proper pure-blood. Draco had decided in Azkaban that he no longer would be a proper pure-blood, and his mother did not know how to deal with that. 

“Well, that is a surprise, Draco. What shall you do?” 

Draco shrugged his shoulders, and pushed back from the table rather rudely. He didn’t know what to do, and he wasn’t going to let his parents influence his decisions any longer. He went up to his room and read the Minister’s letter two more times. He wrote out a response to the letter from Hogwarts, and then chose to volunteer at a Muggle orphanage for three hours every Saturday and Sunday from the new list of community service options. Going to Hogwarts was the only option that really made sense. 

He worried about who else would be going as he walked to where the owls were staying. He expected Granger would be going, but he knew Potter and Weasley had been offered a position in the Auror Training Program. Since it was both of their ambitions to be Aurors, he expected he wouldn’t see either of them and that would be a relief.


	3. Harry's Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry celebrates his birthday with the Weasley's feeling better than he has in awhile. Then it all comes crashing down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Description of suicide attempt.

Three weeks after the Hogwarts letters were distributed, Harry sat outside the Burrow. It was the day before his birthday, but Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had an event the next day and they wanted to celebrate Harry’s birthday. A week and a half ago, Mrs. Weasley marched into Harry’s house and demanded he come to his birthday celebration dinner the day before his birthday, which Harry instantly protested. Harry tried to convince Mrs. Weasley not to cook a dinner and celebrate, but she just clucked her tongue and ignored him. Then she started on him about being too skinny and looking unhealthy, and Harry quickly changed the subject. 

In truth, Mrs. Weasley was absolutely right that Harry was too skinny and not healthy. The day Mrs. Weasley came to visit was the first time Harry had left his bed in four days, and he did not eat anything that entire time. The only reason he had gotten up that day was because Kreacher started punishing himself for his master wasting away. Harry was arguing with Kreacher about punishing himself, when Mrs. Weasley had stepped out of his floo. 

She had narrowed her eyes at the pair of them, and made her way to the stove. It was while she was cooking him lunch that she had announced the birthday celebration. She had plated his lunch when she finished telling him about the birthday plans. Harry ate a couple of bites and told her thanks, but it was unnecessary; then he asked her about Ron when she started worrying over his health. 

She gave an exasperated sigh over the question and voiced her dislike over Ron not taking his N.E.W.T.S. Then she told Harry how proud she was over him going back to Hogwarts with Hermione, and Harry flushed. He ate about half his plate and thanked Mrs. Weasley for stopping by and cooking; then he promised her he would go to the birthday dinner. When she left, she hugged him, and he had the distinct feeling she wanted to say something else but thought better of it. 

After that day, someone started dropping in to “visit” Harry every three or four days. Most of the visitors seemed to be slightly annoyed when stopping by, but all stayed for about an hour and didn’t leave until they saw him eat something. Harry was also annoyed by the visits as they interrupted his plans to stay in bed every day until his birthday dinner; also, he knew they were only doing it because Mrs. Weasley had requested it, it was too suspiciously timed not to be her doing. He didn’t want to go to the dinner, and definitely didn’t have the energy for; however he didn’t want to hurt his mother figure’s feelings when she had spent so much time preparing.

Now Harry was trying to help the Weasley’s set up for the small gathering for his birthday, but Mrs. Weasley kept sending him to sit down while glancing at him. He wasn’t sure how he looked, but considering the most exercise he had done in over a month was walking from his room to the kitchen, he was probably a bit peaky. Hermione looked like she wanted to talk to him, but she hadn’t approached him yet. Ron, who Harry had not seen since Remus and Tonks funeral, kept shooting worried glances at him; Harry looked away when he caught Ron staring. Ginny, George, and Percy seemed to be ignoring him, but Harry didn’t know why so he thought he must be imagining it. Charlie and Bill were friendly enough to him, and laughed when Fleur tried fussing over Harry, which he was sure made his face flush. 

About an hour after he arrived, a few more guests started showing up to the dinner; Neville was the first and talked to Harry about his excitement to go back to Hogwarts and his hope that Professor Sprout would let him plant something in the greenhouses. Next came the Lovegoods, which Luna speared him with a stare; she came up to him, and the usual dreamy tone to her voice was gone when she stated that he should stop. Harry was taken aback by her tone, and the fact he wasn’t sure what she meant. He had a very strong suspicion, but didn’t know how she could tell. The dreamy tone came back, when she started telling him about the newest fictional creature her father was obsessed with. 

After the interaction with Luna, Harry was shaken. He was sure his misery wasn’t too obvious, and he didn’t want to make this birthday celebration awkward after the Weasley’s had put so much effort into it. He couldn’t make his cloudiness disappear, but he was trying to hide it. However, hiding it was exhausting, and after only two hours, Harry was ready to sleep and hide again. He went upstairs and hid in Ron’s room until the dinner started, hoping Mrs. Weasley wouldn’t think he was being too rude. 

Hermione found him there about twenty minutes later, and tried to hide her concerned look. She smiled at him gently, and said that the food was ready. He thanked her, and went with her back outside. More people were there now, including Minister Shacklebolt, Andy and Teddy, Hagrid, and Dobby. Dobby instantly ran over to Harry and wailed about how honored he was to be invited to the celebration. Harry gently reminded Dobby that he had saved Harry’s life quite a few times, and he deserved to be there. Dobby started crying loudly at this, and Hermione tried to calm him down. 

Harry walked over and sat next to Ron; Ron expressed how much he had missed Harry the last few weeks, and Harry asked how Auror training was going. They chatted for a bit, until other people started trying to get Harry’s attention. Throughout the dinner, Harry decided that Ginny, George, and Percy were definitely ignoring him, but he couldn’t dwell on it too much because everyone else was trying to grab his attention. 

After everyone stopped reaching towards the food, Mrs. Weasley asked her sons and Ginny to help clear the table. Once the table was cleared, a huge cake with the words “Happy Birthday Harry” written in green came out. When almost everyone started singing, Harry wanted to duck under the table and hide. He stammered out a thanks to everyone and took the first bite of the piece of cake offered to him. It was only after he smiled at something Charlie said, his first smile since before the Battle of Hogwarts, that he noticed Ron, Hermione, and Mrs. Weasley relax a bit. 

It wasn’t very noticable, but it made Harry consider his intentions more in depth. Harry suddenly realized that if he died, at least these three people would be upset. He didn’t want to upset anyone, but he also knew he didn’t deserve to live after so many people died because of him. Conflicted by his thoughts, Harry didn’t realize his emotions were showing on his face until Ron poked his side. 

“Alright there, mate?” 

Harry put a fake smile on his face, and apologized while saying he was fine. He didn’t offer an explanation to Ron, and hoped Ron wouldn’t ask. He hated lying to his friends, but he would lie about this to avoid worrying about him. Ron continued staring at him thoughtfully, and nodded after a bit. He then asked if Harry wanted to start opening his gifts. Harry was glad for the change of subject, and agreed. 

It wasn’t long after the gifts were opened that everyone started leaving, until it was just the Weasley’s, Harry, and Hermione. Against Ron’s protest that it was his birthday, Harry brought a few plates into the Weasley’s kitchen. He felt almost happy for the first time in recent memory, and even made a joke to Ron. 

“Are you serious? Why are you being so nice to him? He kept Death Eaters out of Azkaban!” Harry heard George saying this with so much venom, that Harry almost thought it wasn’t George. Ron instantly paled, and tried to drag Harry out of hearing range; Harry felt cold as he realized the venomous words were about him. 

“Yeah, Mum, the Malfoy’s deserved to rot, and so did Parkinson!” That was from Ginny. Now Hermione was trying to pull Harry away too. 

“He really should have stayed out of it because his testimony ensured that justice wasn’t properly served.” Now Percy’s voice added his opinion. Mr. Weasley and Charlie were laughing about something, but stopped when they realized what was happening. 

“Honestly, you three, do you think I agree with his decision to keep those people out of Azkaban? No, but there’s nothing we can do about it now. He’s gone through enough, so we shouldn’t hold his decision against him. We’re the closest thing he has to family, and you need to let it go.” Mrs. Weasley’s voice was harsh, but Harry felt numb that even Mrs. Weasley hated him because he testified for the kids their age and Mrs. Malfoy. 

“He kept the people that helped kill Fred out of Azkaban; I’ll never forgive him!” George spit out those hateful words, and Harry heard a loud crack signaling that George had apparated. Mr. Weasley and Charlie tried to get the others attention to signal that Harry was listening.

“Neither will I.” Another crack, and Percy was gone. Mr. Weasley gave up and stared at Harry anxiously.

“He doesn’t deserve our forgiveness, and I will not ‘let it go’.” Harry heard footsteps and then heard Ginny climbing up the stairs after her statement. Charlie looked at Harry with pity.

Harry couldn’t believe he had almost let himself feel happy, he didn’t deserve happiness. George, Percy, and Ginny were right, he didn’t deserve their forgiveness either. Harry felt disgust rise up so violently, that he nearly vomited right in the Weasley’s kitchen. Harry ran outside to avoid the possibility of vomiting in the kitchen, and heard the remaining Weasley’s and Hermione call his name. Bill and Fleur heard the commotion, and asked Harry what was wrong; he just shook his head and started dry heaving. 

He felt a hand on his back and knew he didn’t deserve the comfort. He stood up quickly and almost fell back down from the sudden lightheadedness. It wasn’t wise to apparate when he was feeling so emotional, but Harry didn’t care. In fact, he hoped he splinched himself; he deserved every bit of pain the world had to give him. He apparated to number 12 Grimmauld Place and ran up to his bedroom. 

He locked the door and started sobbing. He drew out his wand and cast the curse to cut his wrist, knowing Kreacher wouldn’t know he was back before it was too late. Unfortunately, his sobbing made his hand shake and he wasn’t sure if he cut the vein. He cast the curse again, and again. Looking at the three bleeding cuts through the tears, Harry was finally satisfied that he had accomplished it. He passed out a few seconds later, with a slight smile on his face because he had finally set the universe right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't intend to Ginny, George, or Percy bash, but I feel like they would be angry over Harry testifying for the Malfoy's. They won't be at Hogwarts for a couple more chapters, sorry.


	4. Ron's Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ron sees something that shakes him to his core.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Description of finding Harry's suicide attempt.

Ron couldn’t believe that his siblings were saying this with Harry around; they had all three expressed their feelings multiple times, but not with Harry around. He had the same stance as his mother to be quite honest, he would never agree with Harry’s decision, but he would never tell Harry that. However, he knew that George’s anger came from losing his twin, and Ginny was upset because the Malfoy’s were despicable and had been the ones to give her the diary so many years ago. He didn’t quite know where Percy was coming from, the prat. 

Ron watched as Harry’s face paled, and tried to pull his best mate out of earshot. There was no use, even with Hermione helping. After Ginny declared she wasn’t keen on forgiving Harry, Harry started shaking. He didn’t think Harry knew his magic burned Ron’s hand that was gripping Harry’s arm, but Ron had no choice to let go. Harry bolted outside, and Ron, Hermione, Charlie, Mum, and Dad all yelled for him. Ron watched Bill ask what was happening. Harry fell into the grass, and Ron put his hand on Harry’s back. Harry stood up quickly and disappeared with a loud crack. 

Ron couldn’t believe that Harry had just apparated being so emotional. He cursed and looked at his family. They were all shocked and pale, and Ron was sure he looked like that too. He summoned a blood replenishing potion, sure that his best mate had splinched himself. Then he apparated to number 12 Grimmauld Place, with Hermione following close behind him. 

Kreacher appeared in front of him and Hermione, while glaring at them. “Why is you two here? Master Harry hasn’t come back yet.” Then he stopped talking and seemed to feel something shift in the air. Ron didn’t pay attention to the elf, too busy looking around the foyer for blood. “Master Harry has returned, and has put himself in danger again.” Ron looked at the elf, and watched Hermione lose all of the color in her face. Following her, they ran to the room that Harry now occupied. 

It was locked, but Hermione unlocked it with a quick _Alohomora_. Ron was not prepared to see his best friend with three heavily bleeding cuts on his left wrist and a small smile. Hermione let out a small sound of distress and Ron wanted to vomit. He gathered himself and rushed over to Harry; he didn’t know how to close up the wounds, but Hermione would. He looked over to her, but she was frozen by the door crying. She kept saying, “Not again. Oh, please, not again.” 

“Hermione, snap out of it, and help me save him before he bleeds to death!” Ron felt guilty talking to his girlfriend so harshly, but he didn’t know what to do and she was in shock. Luckily she snapped out of it and rushed to Harry’s side. She casted a counter-curse to the wounds, but nothing happened. Hermione let out a small sound of distress again, then took a few breaths. She cast the counter-curse, with more confidence in her voice this time, and the cuts finally stopped bleeding. 

Ron wondered if they needed more than the one vial of blood replenishing potion, and then panicked about how they would get Harry to take it. However, he now heard Kreacher arguing with someone down the stairs, and his own mom’s voice responding. His mom would know how to help, but he also didn’t know how she would feel about this. Glancing at Hermione, she shook her head. 

“Mrs. Weasly would never recover from seeing this, especially knowing why it happened. Give me the potion and convince her not to come up.” Ron nodded and handed her the vial. 

“How are you going to give it to him? He can’t drink it.” 

“I’m going to spell it into his stomach, this potion will still work doing it this way.”

Ron nodded again, and cast a quick cleaning spell on his clothes before going to his mom. He walked down the stairs and saw his mom arguing with Kreacher. His dad, Charlie, Bill, and Fleur stood behind her, looking at the elf furiously. He cleared his throat and they all looked up at him. 

“Oh, good. This house elf,” Mom glared at Kreacher while saying that, “wouldn’t let us up. What’s going on? Is Harry hurt?”

Ron debated what to say, because Hermione was right, Mom couldn’t see the bloody mess up in Harry’s bed. However, she cared for Harry as much as she cared for him and his siblings. 

“Harry splinched himself, but Hermione healed him. It looks dreadful up there, and he would hate for you to see it, Mum. He’s going to be fine, though. Probably will sleep for a bit, so it wouldn’t do any good going up there.”

“He should go to St. Mungo’s! Not just have Hermione heal him, she isn’t a qualified healer!”

“Mum, you know he wouldn’t like that. St. Mungo’s doesn’t respect his healer/patient confidentiality, and the Daily Prophet would make it into a Death Eater attack. Hermione healed us just fine when we were hunting Horcruxes, he’ll be fine.”

Ron knew he hadn’t convinced his mom, but she reluctantly nodded. Then she talked about cleaning up the house, and cooking food for Harry while he was injured. Fleur and Mom left, but Dad, Charlie, and Bill stayed. They looked at him for a bit. Dad told Charlie and Bill to go home and help their mom; they hesitated a few seconds, but walked to the fireplace. His dad waited until he heard the floo roar twice, and then narrowed his eyes on Ron.

“You’re lying.” It was a statement, not accusing or questioning, and Ron felt his ears heat up. His dad always knew when any of them lied, but didn’t usually call them out. Ron sighed, and felt all the fear he kept at bay seeing his best mate in a puddle of his own blood, flood into him. 

“Yeah. Harry’s in a bad way. I don’t know how he’s going to sur- survive.” Ron’s voice broke at saying that, but cleared his throat and continued. “I don’t think he splinched himself, but he did try offing himself.” Ron felt his eyes tear up finishing saying it, because it made it real. 

His dad sighed, and pat Ron on the shoulder. “I was afraid that was the case, and I doubt it’s the first time, Ronald. He’s been hiding it, but I think the Battle affected him more than we know. I’m sure you and Hermione will keep him alive, but don’t take him to St. Mungo’s. You’re right, they will absolutely tell the Prophet, and the world doesn’t need to know about this.” His dad squeezed his shoulder, and walked into the sitting room. Ron heard him floo back to the Burrow. 

Ron walked back up to Harry’s room, and took a deep breath before walking in. Hermione was sitting next to Harry, who had thankfully re-gained some colour; she looked so tired and afraid. Ron cast the cleaning charm at the bed, and the blood disappeared. He was thankful the puddle of blood wasn’t there anymore, but he didn’t think he would ever forget it. Hermione looked up at him, and then looked back at Harry. 

“What did you mean with ‘Not again’? Has he already done this, and you didn’t tell me?” Ron tried to keep the anger out of his voice, but couldn’t. Hermione flinched at his tone, but slowly nodded. 

“I don’t know how many times, but I found him once. I asked Kreacher to tell me if he tried again, but he hasn’t since that time. It was almost a month ago.” Ron noticed she didn’t apologize for not telling him, and he pushed down his annoyance. He probably wouldn’t have told her either, had the positions been reversed. 

“You should go to sleep, I’ll stay with him. Will he be ok?” Hermione nodded and said, “Yes. He’ll just need a couple more blood replenishing potions, which I can pick up tomorrow.” Then she left the room. Ron studied Harry closely, and then looked at his left wrist. There were about three scars, plus the three cuts from this attempt. 

For the first time since he had received his Hogwarts letter, Ron considered going back for his N.E.W.T.S. Robards had already hinted heavily that he thought Ron should; Ron had to admit it wasn’t as great at being an Auror as he thought it would be. Ron didn’t think that he would be able to spend the rest of his life being an Auror, and not having any N.E.W.T.S. or graduating would definitely limit his options. Plus Hermione would need help with Harry this year, since she would be stretched thin already from the N.E.W.T.S. and her Prefect duties. Ron fell asleep while thinking about what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter they will be on the Platform. I intended to combine the Platform and Train to Hogwarts, but it became a bit too long of a chapter for me.


	5. Platform Nine and Three-Quarters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning:Thoughts of suicide.

The month between Harry’s birthday and the day they went to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters was one of the longest months of Harry’s life. When he woke, almost a week after his latest suicide attempt, Harry was so distressed that he had failed yet again; didn’t the Universe realize how it would be better with Harry dead? He wasn’t awake long before Hermione came into his room and hugged him, then Ron told him quietly the scene they found was one of the worst he had ever seen. Harry felt a bit guilty over this, but he wouldn’t apologize. 

Ron and Hermione both made Harry promise to stop hurting himself. Harry felt sick at the thought of breaking a promise to his best friends, but they didn’t realize how much better the world would be without him. Harry knew he could never go to the Weasley’s again; he felt a stab of hurt thinking about how much he hurt them by speaking up at the trials. It was for the best that he distance himself from Mrs. Weasley, since she was the one that was forcing her family to accept Harry. Any problems they might be having was Harry’s fault, so he would just remove himself to not ruin anyone else’s life. He had already done enough of that with the Battle of Hogwarts, they all had fought for him which made it his fault that they had died. He caused families to lose their children, children to become orphans, people to lose their friends, and others to live with injuries for the rest of their lives; it was only justice that he should die for the pain that he caused. He knew it hurt Mrs. Weasley that he was silent every time she visited, but it was for the best. Harry repeated that phrase to himself quite a few times, but the guilt never lessened. 

Harry knew Ron tried to cheer Mrs. Weasley by saying that Harry barely talked to Ron and Hermione as well, but Harry wasn’t sure if it worked. Harry couldn’t figure out how to distance himself from Ron and Hermione, since both of them had decided to move in with Harry until the start of term. Ron had officially sent his owl to Hogwarts, changing his mind and wanting to get his N.E.W.T.S. Snape had written back a schating letter about it but accepted Ron’s request. Ron was told he would be welcomed back to the Auror program once he finished the year, as would Harry. Hermione was extremely happy that both of them were going to be finishing school, and bought Ron an expensive quill to celebrate.

Either Ron or Hermione was almost constantly with Harry, but they tried to make it seem like they weren’t babysitting him; Harry knew he should be angry about it, but all he felt was the numbness that settled over him after his birthday celebration. Hermione had forced Harry to see a Mind Healer, but the bitch had told The Daily Prophet about the visit. Luckily Harry had barely talked, since every detail of their session was splashed on the front page of the paper the next day. That had been the last time Hermione suggested a Mind Healer, but he knew she was researching other ways to help Harry’s mental health. Harry forced himself to get out of bed every couple of days, so his friends didn’t hover as much. He didn’t know if the numbness that barely let any emotion go through his mind was obvious, but thought it probably was since Hermione and Ron always looked worried for him. 

As Harry stared at the scarlet train that took them to Hogwarts, Harry knew he should be happy but the numbness only let anxiety through it’s thick drape over his mind. So many people tried touching Harry’s robe, shouted their thanks, and invaded his space, that Harry didn’t know what to do and the anxiety was increasing rapidly. Suddenly the crowd became silent, and Harry could breathe a little bit easier. Harry looked up to see why, and saw Draco Malfoy on the platform with his mother behind him. He was walking towards Harry, but that was probably because Harry was in his direct path to the train.

“Potter,” Malfoy spit. “I see your adoring fans are here and worshipping you. I bet you love the attention.” Malfoy sneered while saying this, and someone shouted “Death Eaters!” and spit on him. Malfoy’s face showed an emotion flick over his face, too quick for Harry to decipher, and then sneered in the direction of the person. Harry briefly thought that Malfoy would throw a hex towards the person who had spat on him, as Harry realized Malfoy’s wand was in his hand.

“Draco, don’t bring yourself down to their level.” Mrs. Malfoy said loudly, but they were so close to Harry that he heard her whisper, “Don’t jeopardize your probation, please.” Harry watched the worry flick onto her face. Harry realized with a jolt that she loved her son enough to lie to Voldemort, so she was naturally worried about her son being in Azkaban with her husband. Draco glanced back at his mother with the sneer still plastered, but sighed and nodded slightly. He turned again and sneered at Harry, “You’re in my way, Potter.”

Harry wondered where the hate he had always felt for Malfoy was, but not even a ghost of irritation was presenting itself. He stepped to the side slightly and Malfoy looked surprised at the lack of an argument or nasty response, but the surprise was quickly replaced with suspicion. Malfoy sneered at Harry and started towards the train again. Harry watched as the Malfoy’s walked and saw two hexes come at Malfoy. He deflected one with a lazy flick of the wrist, and Mrs. Malfoy blocked the other. However, neither noticed the purple light coming for Mrs. Malfoy’s side.

Harry acted before thinking, and deflected the curse. Mrs. Malfoy had turned and saw the curse coming too late to act, and braced herself. However, it ricocheted towards the train, glancing around she saw that Harry had deflected the curse and said, “While unnecessary, your help is appreciated Mr. Potter. We will be more vigilant, so don’t bother keeping an eye out for us.” Harry nodded his head at her, and put his wand away. Malfoy glanced at Harry with suspicion in his eyes again before resuming his path towards the train.. 

The crowd wasn’t praising Harry anymore, and Ron and Hermione looked at Harry with an unreadable expression. “Why did you protect her, mate?” Ron asked with an accusing tone, and Harry merely shrugged in response. Hermione looked away without saying anything. Mrs. Weasley, Mr. Weasly, and Ginny had seen it happen, as well; they didn’t say anything either, but Ginny sneered at Harry. Harry felt a hand clasp his shoulder suddenly, and looked back to see Neville. 

“He protected her because it was the right thing to do, Ron. She didn’t see the curse in time, and who knows what would have happened had it connected.” Ron’s ears reddened at Neville’s statement and mumbled something. Neville then asked Harry and Ron, “Want to find a compartment, guys? Luna will be joining us too, I think.” Harry and Ron nodded, waved at the Weasley’s, and followed Neville onto the train. Hermione would probably join them, but she had to go to the Prefect cabin first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Weasley bashing, Ginny is just dealing with her grief in her own way. Next chapter will be Draco.


	6. The Train

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The train ride to Hogwarts bring some unsettling truths to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Referrenced suicide and self-harm

Draco couldn’t believe that Potter had blocked a curse from hitting his mother; what was he playing at? He was almost at the train when he turned to his mother. Her face was expressionless, but Draco knew she was worried about him returning to Hogwarts. He wanted to not worry about returning, however he was not a fool. This display on the Platform was just the beginning of the hatred he would deal with. He deserved it, he knew, but it would make the school year harder. 

“Draco, my darling son, please don’t start trouble this year. So much is riding on your N.E.W.T.S., and everyone is waiting for you to misstep. Do not give them a reason to place you back in Azkaban with your father, please.” 

Draco looked at his mother, and wondered if she meant for him to just let himself be a target for hexes and curses from the students who lost someone to the war. She probably did, and Draco knew that was the way to avoid being expelled and breaking his probation. She sighed softly at Draco, and left the worry show on her face. This surprised Draco, as his mother rarely let an emotion that could easily be used for blackmail on her face in public. 

“Draco, please be careful.” Draco sighed, and nodded sharply. He leant down and let her kiss his cheek. She turned around and walked away from the Platform, while Draco walked onto the train. He found the compartment where Blaise Zabini was sitting, and inwardly sighed with relief; Zabini wasn’t his friend, but he wouldn’t vandalize Draco’s trunk. Draco nodded his head towards Zabini, and the boy raised his eyebrows. 

“Well, I hope you’re not going to assume I want to share a compartment with a known Death Eater, Malfoy.” Draco felt his back straighten, and considered how he should proceed. Zabini had every right to not let Draco sit in this cabin once the Prefect meeting was done, but Draco knew that Zabini would probably be the only one who would even let him in their compartment. 

“I did assume that you wanted to keep an outward appearance of Slytherin Unity, Zabini. Especially since you will also be targeted this year; nobody will care that you stayed neutral, they will only care that you are a Slytherin Pure-Blood.”

Zabini shot Draco a look of disdain, then schooled his features into the emotionless mask all Pure-Bloods are taught. He nodded his head slightly, and Draco nearly let out a sigh of relief. He placed his trunk in the compartment, and walked towards the Prefect’s cabin. There were already a handful of students there, none that Draco recognized, but three evidently recognized him, judging by the three hexes and curses that flew at him. Draco couldn’t stop all three, so he deflected the two he didn’t recognize and let the stinging curse hit him in the stomach. He wanted to wince and rub the spot, but he wouldn’t let himself show any sign of pain, he wouldn’t give the bastard the satisfaction. 

Granger walked into the cabin shortly after Draco, and everyone stood a little straighter and tried to talk to her. She was polite to them all, but was visibly uncomfortable; Draco wondered if she enjoyed the fact that Potter received the majority of the spotlight, so she could stay out of it. Draco felt the train start to move, and realized that the only “Eighth Years” in the cabin were him and Granger. He expected at least one from each house, but then he didn’t know how many eighth years there were or how they were going to be sorted this year. None of the letters had mentioned, Draco just assumed they would stay in their regular dormitories due to Slughorn sending him a letter. 

He heard someone clear their throat, bringing Draco back from his thoughts. The Head Boy and Girl talked about how they all needed to be very conscious of bullying in the corridors, showing favoritism towards their own house, and patrolling for students out after curfew. It was the same every year, and everybody responded with the same vague head nods and murmurs of agreement. Then the Head Girl assigned patrolling days, and they were dismissed. 

Draco went back to Zabini’s compartment and saw that Pansy Parkinson had joined the compartment; she greeted Draco and held out her cheek for a kiss, which made Draco roll his eyes. It seemed as if she was going to pretend that everything was the same as it was three years ago; Pansy had always been a bit too naive. The trio made pointless small talk about the summer, and then settled into silence. Draco was reading an article in his Potions magazine when the compartment door burst open; he grabbed his wand on instinct, and pointed it at the intruder. 

Draco relaxed his hand when he saw it was a second year in Slytherin robes, but wondered why she had a look of terror on her face. Pansy asked her what was going on, and the girl stammered out about a Gryffindor boy trying to hex her. She had barely gotten the words out, when the doors opened again. Draco pointed his wand at the sixth year, and saw Pansy and Zabini had their own wands out but hadn’t pointed it at the intruder. 

“Well, well. Look at what we have here. I just wanted to teach the little Slytherin a lesson about walking around alone, like they did to us last year, but now I have found three people who don’t deserve the option to come back, including a Death Eater.” The boy spat out the last words, and Draco felt a sliver of fear creep down his spine. In normal circumstances, he would be able to defend himself, but he knew that this boy would lie about what happened and Draco would be thrown in Azkaban if he tried to fight back. “Who should I curse first? I still need to hex the kid, but I think one of you three would try to protect her. I should probably take out the coward that didn’t fight at all first, since both of you are on probation.”

He raised his wand and started saying his curse, when someone jerked his arm back. The boy looked behind him and his face lost all colour, and the owner of the hand stepped into view. It was Harry Potter; he watched Potter anxiously as the Golden Boy probably just wanted to hex the compartment himself, and they definitely could not retaliate against the Saviour of the Wizarding World. 

“Don’t.” It was said in an almost whisper, and the voice sounded raspy, like it was barely used. Draco was surprised that the voice had come from Potter. He noticed Zabini staring intently at Potter’s hand that had grabbed the other boy. Then Neville Longbottom stepped into view of the compartment.

“McTavish, what in the hell are you doing?” Draco had never heard Longbottom’s voice sound so harsh and grave. The boy, McTavish, said, “Well the second year Slytherin was walking alone, like she owned the place, and I decided to teach her a lesson. She ran away from me into this compartment, and I found more snakes. Did you two want to help me make them regret coming back?” 

Longbottom eyed the boy, and then said very quietly, “No, I don’t want to help. But if I see you hexing anymore second years or people because of their house, I’ll make you regret coming back. Go back to your friends, McTavish, and stay the hell away from this compartment.” McTavish looked surprised that Longbottom had sided with the Slytherins, and Draco felt the same way. He remembered Longbottom being a plump, nervous boy that wouldn’t be able to say two words without stammering; of course he had heard about Longbottom’s acts of resistance, killing Nagini, and his other braved deeds last year, but hearing and seeing where two different things. 

McTavish glared at the pair of Gryffindors for a few seconds, and then Potter shoved the boy away. Draco heard footsteps down the corridor, and Longbottom stared at Potter for a few seconds. Draco couldn’t tell what the look was about, but was waiting for the duo to turn their attention on the Slytherins. He then saw a purple light fly past Longbottom, and heard a crash and yelp. Longbottom looked behind him and said, “There was no reason for that, Ron.”

“Well the git was hexing second years because of their house. There was no reason for that. If it had been fourth years or above, well who cares, they could defend themselves.” Longbottom looked slightly upset at that sentiment, but didn’t respond. Draco heard a female voice softly say, “Oh, Ronald.” Potter looked back into the compartment, then walked away. Longbottom watched Potter leave, and Draco heard a chorus asking where Potter was going. Longbottom looked back at the Slytherins and kindly said to the girl who had ran into the compartment, “Do you want me to walk you back to your friends? I’m heading for the lunch trolley, so it would be no bother.”

The girl looked at Pansy, who gently nudged her to Longbottom; she would be safe from hexes and curses in his company, as nobody would mess with one of the war heroes. Draco, watched this all happen with a feeling of dread settle into his stomach. He had interacted with Potter at the Platform, but had assumed the Saviour was there to send off Granger and Girl Weasley. Weasley and Potter coming back meant that Draco had no hope of completing the term without ending up in Azkaban. They would harass Draco for no reason, and if they didn’t, then Draco would probably say or do something to enrage the Golden Trio. Suddenly Zabini cleared his throat, bringing Draco out of his thoughts. 

“Well, it seems like the Dark Lord’s goal will finally be completed by Potter’s mind and emotions.” Zabini said this softly. Draco and Pansy looked at him with confusion on their faces. He scoffed at them, and said, “Neither of you noticed the incredibly recent and angry looking scars on Potter’s wrist? Nor the fact that he acts half-dead already?” 

Draco looked at Zabini to see if the wizard was joking, but he looked incredibly serious. Pansy shared looks with both of them. Draco thought back and realized that Potter was acting incredibly strange, but Draco would not have attributed it to what Zabini was implying. 

Zabini sighed, “Well this provides a problem. If Potter kills himself, we will certainly be blamed. The Wizarding World will most certainly not accept that they missed the signs” 

Draco looked at the other people in the compartment uneasily, as he realized Zabini was right. Then Pansy spoke up, “Well, we’ll have to befriend Potter’s gang this year, and hope he doesn’t plan to do it as soon as we get back.” 

Draco looked at Pansy incredulously, but as he thought about her words, he knew she was right. Zabini looked uneasy too, but also nodded in agreement. The trio spent the rest of the train ride coming up with their plan to avoid blame. Draco felt some undetermined emotion over the fact they were discussing protecting themselves instead of helping Potter, but he swallowed it down. Slytherins considered their own interests first, and then worried about other people.


	7. The Announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive at Hogwarts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sorting hat song is rough, so anyone who has suggestions for it, please let me know.

Draco stepped off the train with Pansy and Zabini, and heard Harid’s usual cry for the first years to go with him. He envied the first years that rode the boats, because as he had to see the huge, omens of death horses. He followed the crowd to the carriages, but when most of the students realized who he was, they glared at him while letting him past. They obviously didn’t want to be vulnerable to a Death Eater; Draco sneered at them and kept his eyes forward while walking. He couldn’t watch his back for hexes, so he quickly cloaked himself with a protective charm. Not very long after he placed the charm, a hex bounced off of it. He made it to the carriages with three more spells bouncing off his shield, and sighed while sitting down. Zabini and Pansy climbed into the carriage, and Draco expected that they would be the only ones to join him in the carriage.

He was wrong. Luna Lovegood climbed into the carriage, and Draco froze. He felt his mouth dry and his blood run cold; he hadn’t hurt the odd girl while she was imprisoned in his manor, but he felt responsible for her suffering. He remembered when she had been there for two days without being fed, and Draco had decided to sneak into the kitchens and steal some food. She thanked him with her dreamy voice when he slid the food in, and told them to hurry. He went back upstairs, where an elf was standing next to his Aunt Bellatrix; the elf was in tears and terrified. Draco knew he would suffer, but didn’t know how bad. He had endured the cruciatus curse before, but never so many in a row spread out over such a long time. He still wonders how he didn’t lose his mind from it. 

He wanted to stay in bed without moving the days following the punishment, but the Dark Lord called a meeting. His aunt did not hesitate to inform the Dark Lord about Draco’s transgression. The Dark Lord punished him worse than his aunt, and his father did not look at Draco the entire time. Once he regained consciousness he vowed to never act like such a bloody Gryffindor again. However, he couldn’t knowingly let someone starve to death, so he broke his promise three more times when they had forgotten about the prisoners for more than a couple of days. He was more careful after his punishment, though, and had thankfully hadn’t been caught those times. 

Lovegood didn’t know about the punishment, so she was probably here to blame him for the days she went without food. Or to blame him if anybody had hurt her while she was imprisoned. Draco wanted to hide his eyes from him, but she deserved to look Draco in the eyes as she hurled her accusations. His family had done something unspeakable to her. 

“Hullo, Draco. Thanks for bringing us food, even after your aunt hurt you. We heard your screams for hours after the first time.” Draco felt his cheeks blush at the blunt honesty of this girl, and his throat closed up. He nodded and looked out the window to avoid the girl’s penetrating stare. He didn’t deserve her thanks, he was just acting like a human should; _not that his father or aunt would know anything about being human_ , he thought to himself. 

“My father wants to publish an article about the curse your mother has, Blaise, but she won’t let him. He told me all about it, how a jealous witch cursed your mother so that all of her lovers would die. Daddy believes she won’t let him publish it because your mother had stolen the jealous witch’s husband.”

Draco let out a bark of laughter at the look on Zabini’s face; he looked so confused and surprised. 

“Well, you can see why his mother wouldn’t want that published, then. I wouldn’t want someone to publish an article about me having a curse that killed my lovers; I would be alone forever.” Pansy was very amused and Zabini shot a sneer at her. Finally Pansy couldn’t contain her laughter, and nearly doubled over from the force of it. Draco chuckled as well. Zabini was saved from any further discussion on the matter because the carriages stopped, signaling their arrival at Hogwarts. 

Draco fought down a wave of anxiety at seeing the school, and hopped out of the carriage. The four of them walked to the castle together, Pansy drawing Lovegood into another conversation. Pansy obviously thought the girl was insane, but entertaining. Zabini still looked irritated at Lovegood’s theory, and refused to look at either girl. They walked into the Great Hall and saw the four tables signifying the four houses set up vertically, but there was a much smaller horizontal table in between the four tables and the professor’s table. Draco guessed that was where the eighth years would be sitting, and sighed. It figures that they all would be forced together. 

Draco decided to ignore the horizontal table and sat down at the Slytherin’s table; he saw that all of the returning eighth years he recognized had also sat at their normal house table. Draco wondered where the first years were going to be sorted, as the table was in the way, but he saw how when McGonagall walked in with the first years. She had the sorting hat in her hands and sat it down on the table, then she pulled out her wand and transfigured the table into a stool. The ancient hat opened up to sing its song for the year.

>   
> Last year Hogwarts was tested  
> Unlike any year before  
> Students were hurt inside these very walls  
> Then the summer was used to build and restore
> 
> You may think some are to blame  
> But that wouldn’t be wise  
> To judge motives before knowing  
> Is how you’ll find your demise
> 
> Slytherin was not the first  
> Nor will his heir be the last  
> To let their beliefs overshadow their humanity  
> But for right now, leave the events in the past
> 
> You are all here to learn  
> The great skills of magic  
> Don’t hate your peers  
> For the results will be tragic
> 
> Now it’s time to sort into the houses  
> But don’t put too much time  
> Into fighting with the other houses  
> Because you’ll all be in here for dinnertime  
> 

The hat ended it’s song on that note, and Draco had to say it was the strangest one yet. He wished the old hat would just go back to singing about what each house stood for, instead of the house unity bull. It never worked before, and it’s not going to work now. Once the sorting finished, McGonagall transfigured the stool back into the short table.

Headmaster Snape stood up and said, “Welcome students, new and returning. As you may have noticed the tables are a bit crowded, so all of the eighth years come up to the new table and sit. Then we will begin the feast.”

Draco knew this was going to happen, but he had not wanted the moment to come so soon. Zabini, Pansy, Draco, and two girls, Greengrass and Roper, were the ones who stood up from the Slytherin table. There were about 8 from Hufflepuff, and 9 from Ravenclaw; Gryffindor had Potter, Weasley, Granger, Longbottom, and four others he didn’t recognize from a distance. Draco sat down at the end of the table closest to the Slytherin table with Zabini and Pansy, the rest of the students sat as far away from the Slytherins as possible, with Greengrass and Roper in between the two groups. Draco loaded food onto his plate and ignored the sneers thrown at him, but no one dared to pull out their wand with Snape right there. 

Once the feast was completed, Snape once again stood up. 

“Yes, well, I’ll make this quick. Filch has asked me to remind you that the Forbidden Forest is off to limits, as well as any products from the Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes shop as well as over 400 other different items. Magic is not allowed in the corridors, which most of you dunderheads would do well to remember. If any member of the staff or Prefects see you hex another student, regardless of house, it will be an automatic 10 point reduction and detention. Eighth years stay behind, but the rest of you, find your dormitory.”

Snape sneered as he said all of this, as per usual; any hope that the war ending softened Snape was dashed after that speech. The Great Hall cleared out leaving the 30 eighth years and Snape alone, he glared at them all and then spoke, 

“Well, I see that all of you that owled back did come, I’m surprised. As you can tell you will be eating separate from your house for the remainder of the year; you will also be staying in a separate dormitory which I will be leading you to shortly. Since your sleeping and eating arrangements differ from your house, any points you earn or have taken away will come from a new communal hourglass.” Draco looked up as Snape’s hand waived in the air, and saw a new hourglass with the Hogwarts crest above it appear amongst the other four. 

“You are quite literally your own house, and as such will be permitted to qualify for the House Cup, although there will be a significant disadvantage. Since this is a temporary measure, I will be the head of your house. Now, onto the matter of Quidditch, if there are not enough people who would like to play then we won’t have a team, but if there is a team, we will be entered into the Quidditch Cup. The Quidditch captain will be, as much as it pains me, Harry Potter; speak to him if you want to potentially join/try-out depending on the interest of your chosen position. Your Prefects are Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger. Any questions?” 

Only one hand lifted into the air and Snape looked like he had swallowed a lemon. He kept glancing at the other students, ignoring the hand in the air. Finally he sighed and barked, “Yes, Potter?” 

Potter spoke up with that horribly raspy voice that probably hadn’t been used much lately, “I don’t want it.” Draco felt surprise at Potter being so bold, and wondered how Snape would react. Predictably his face clouded with fury as he narrowed his eyes at the boy. 

“Potter, don’t be foolish. You possess a mediocre amount of talent, as much as I loathe to admit it, and have been captain before. There will be no further discussion on the matter.” Snape bit these statements out so harshly Weasley opened his mouth to retaliate. Before he could say anything, Granger elbowed him in the ribs. Snape sneered at the Golden Trio and led the students to the dormitories they would be sharing.


	8. The Dorms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Eighth years see their new common rooms.

Snape led the Eighth years to a door in the east wing on the second floor; the corridor stretched a great length both ways from the side of the door without even a painting on the wall. Harry was secretly happy that they didn’t have to climb seven floors to get to their common room, but he wondered why their new common room was so far away from everything. Snape pulled out his wand and waved it at the door. 

“One by one, you all will come up and grip the doorknob. The door will remember your magical signature and only allow this group and myself entrance into the rooms. Hurry up now.” Snape sneered, in a bad mood for whatever reason. 

Harry had wanted to argue with Snape over his appointment as Quidditch Captain, but decided against it, as Harry would be dead long before needing to set up try-outs and practices. Snape watched the first few people grab the doorknob and seemed satisfied that they wouldn’t mess up the process; he spun on his heel and strode towards Harry. He stopped in front of him and glared at Harry for a minute before speaking. 

“Potter, I will inform you now that I am not as tolerant as my predecessor, and I will not bow to your whim because you got lucky. Any rule breaking, any at all, and you will be expelled. That goes for your friends as well. Do you understand?” Snape hissed this all at Harry, but looked at Hermione and Ron when he mentioned them. 

Ron looked like he wanted to hex Snape, and Hermione paled. Harry just looked at Snape with a blank expression, and said, “Yes, sir.” His throat hurt at the moment, as he spoke more that day than he had for the last three days. He found it didn’t bruise his pride to show respect to Snape anymore, and was slightly relieved. The castle was big enough that he could surely find someplace where nobody would find him in time, and he didn’t want to jeopardize his plans by being expelled. 

Snape stared at Harry for another minute before glaring at Ron and Hermione, they both repeated that they understood. Ron called Snape a git underneath his breath while the man was walking away, and Hermione hit him in the arm. Then Ron looked at him and said, “Well, I reckon I want to be the Keeper for the team, Harry.” Harry just inclined his head towards Ron without saying anything, but Ron had said this fairly loud and people had started walking up to Harry. 

“I think it would be fun to try out for chaser,” said a girl Harry was sure he had never seen before. “As will I,” said Ernie Macmillion. “I think I’ll try out for a beater position, Harry,” said Seamus. Harry quickly became overwhelmed as so many voices started telling him how good of a flyer they were, or what position they wanted to try out for. Finally Harry backed away from them, and Hermione reigned in the crowd. 

She pulled out a piece of parchment and said, “Please wait until this piece of parchment has been posted before telling us what position you would like to try out for. Harry will never remember with you all just shouting at him.” Most of the students looked embarrassed and mumbled an agreement. The rest of the wait to enter the dorm room was silent; finally Harry stepped into his new common room and looked around. 

It was cozy looking, with a fireplace and orange armchairs around it. There was a bulletin board that Hermione quickly went over to and pinned up the piece of parchment headed with “Quidditch Tryouts.” About a half dozen people went over to it and started a queue. The whole room seemed to be decorated in orange and white, which Harry thought was fairly awful looking. 

Snape walked in behind the last eighth year, and cleared his throat. The chatter stopped as they looked up at the headmaster.

“Due to this new policy of inter-house unity, none of you will be sharing a room with someone from your house. If I learn that any of you have vandalized someone else’s trunk or possessions, I assure you, you will be expelled. There are ten rooms, meaning three to a room; five rooms in the female’s wing and five rooms in the male’s wing. Each room has a small separate bathroom attached that you have to share with your roommates, so be conscious of time. Your trunk has already been placed in your room, and there will be no moving. The room assignments are:

The first room in the male’s wing will be occupied by Macmillion, Rivers, and Weasley.  
The next room will be occupied by Thomas, Malone, and Goldstein.  
The third room will be occupied by Longbottom, Malfoy, and Hopkins.  
The fourth room will be occupied by Finnigan, Finch-Fletchley, and Boot.   
The last room will be occupied by Zabini, Potter, and Corner. 

The first room in the female’s wing will be occupied by MacDougal, Abbott, and Gryffindor Patil.   
The second room will be occupied by Runcorn, Ravenclaw Patil, and Parkinson.   
The third room will be occupied by Li, Granger, and Jones.   
The fourth room will be occupied by Bones, Turpin, and Greengrass.   
The last room will be occupied by Roper, Brocklehurst, and Moon. 

One last thing, you will all be required to add Muggle Studies to your coursework, as will the rest of the school; this a requirement from the Ministry of Magic. Your classes will only be taken with your year as well, you will not be joining the seventh years.”

After finishing that, Snape stalked out of the common room. Harry almost felt amused that two of Ginny’s ex-boyfriends were going to be sharing a room, but that was all he knew about the Ravenclaw boy. Which was more than he knew about Zabini, he had only interacted with the boy once. He looked over at Ron and he clapped Harry’s shoulder, “Bad luck getting stuck with a Slytherin, but better Zabini than Malfoy. Poor Neville.”

Harry just nodded, but thought Neville was probably the only Gryffindor who would be able to live with Malfoy. He knew Pavarti, but Harry did not think he had ever interacted with the other girl in Gryffindor robes. Hermione followed his gaze, “That’s Lily Moon. She only talked to Sally Smith, as they were both Pure Bloods; Sally was Zacharias Smith’s younger sister. Sally died during the battle, taking a curse to save Lily’s life. They both fought to protect Hogwarts.” 

Harry looked up at Hermione startled, he didn’t realize that there were girls in their year that shared a room with Hermione who cared about blood status; he had been to Sally Smith’s funeral because he remembered Zacharias casting a curse at him, but he didn’t know they were in the same year and house. Lily was sitting by herself, looking blankly into the fire. Hermione spoke up again, “Her father was a Death Eater, but she didn’t go to trial since she fought for Hogwarts. Not many people have connected them, so she doesn’t have to constantly be vigilant for hexes and curses. She still believes in blood purity, though, just not enough to kill over it.” 

Harry nodded at Hermione and decided to head up to bed. Casting a final glance at the blond girl sitting by the fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm almost done setting the scene, I swear.


	9. Potter, Don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco follows and stops Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Suicide Attempt

Draco sat down for breakfast, but Zabini and Pansy weren’t there yet; since school started again a little over a week ago, Draco usually came down for breakfast before most people were awake, so he could leave before the hall became crowded. He had discovered that most people thought he was a great target to launch their food at; although his family had been knocked off their pedestal, Draco was not going to go to class with filthy robes. Longbottom started coming to breakfast with Draco, as he liked to go to the greenhouses before class, which inevitably left a streak of dirt on his face in some way. This morning Longbottom was sitting next to Draco while eating breakfast, neither of them spoke to each other though. 

Draco had his Muggle Studies book in front of him at the table to study the subject while eating his breakfast; it was by far the subject he had the most difficulty in, followed by Transfiguration. He had a full schedule with Muggle Studies, Transfiguration, Arithmancy, Herbology, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, History of Magic, Astronomy, and Potions coupled with his Prefect duties and six hour community service commitment, but Draco vowed to not allow his grades to drop. His sixth year performance was abysmal, and he had quite a bit of studying to do to ensure he received an O in each of the subjects. He had drafted a study chart the first day after he received his time table, and to accurately study he would be up until 1 in the morning every night. He was used to not sleeping, so he was glad to be using the time wisely. 

He finished breakfast and heard more people start to fill the hall, but he waited for Longbottom to finish, though he would claim it was to finish his paragraph. On the first night, Draco had woken in the middle of the night to the Hufflepuff Hopkins and Longbottom shouting; it had not taken long to realize that Hopkins had wanted to curse Draco in his sleep and Longbottom stopped him. Draco knew he wouldn’t be popular, but he hadn’t expected a Hufflepuff to hex him while he slept. Since that night, Draco strived to be kinder to Longbottom. 

They headed out of the Great Hall and parted ways; Zabini rushed towards Draco and grabbed his arm, dragging him to an alcove and cast a privacy shield. The look on his face brought Draco out of the almost pleasant mood he was in. “Potter has started cutting himself in the mornings and nights; we need to talk to Pansy to see how well she’s getting along with one Potter’s friends. I’m making no progress with Granger. Every time I talk to her, she barely answers and then buries her head in a book.” 

Zabini sounded exasperated, but that was probably due to his inability to charm Granger; he had always been able to charm any girl or boy he wished in the past. Draco had not been making progress in talking to Thomas, the Gryffindor boy he had thought would be easiest to overcome their rivalry; the boy just sneered at him each time Draco walked towards him. 

“I’m not making progress either, honestly. I believed you originally thought Potter was trying to kill himself, not cutting?” Draco wondered about this, as cutting did not always equate to attempting suicide. 

“I thought I could have been wrong in my initial assumption, which is why I did not immediately tell you and Pansy. However, last night I heard Weasley and Granger discuss, and this is a new development; also, they confirmed he has attempted at least four times over two months. The last time was his birthday, so we need to hurry to not be blamed for the Golden Boy’s death.” 

Draco cursed and agreed to tell Pansy when he saw her. Zabini brought down the privacy shield as Granger and Weasley walked into the Great Hall without Potter, which was the normal; Draco didn’t think that Potter had been in the Great Hall since the Welcome Feast. He wondered when Potter was eating, however his thoughts raced from his mind when a powerful stinging jinx hit him in the cheek. His eyes watered, but he refused to show pain. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Draco’s face was still swollen when the clock struck midnight that night; he was in the common room, hidden so that nobody would laugh at him anymore, and doing his homework assigned from Defense Against the Dark Arts the previous day. The new professor, Hartley, had shown up three days after the Welcome Feast, and was utterly useless. He was a worse bully than Snape, and obviously only here for the payment. Hartley never missed a chance to ridicule each student in his class, except Potter; Granger had left yesterday’s class in tears after he told her, “You have a memory of an elephant, Granger. Unfortunately you don’t quite live up to their beauty.” Nobody had even chuckled at the comment, and Draco was sure Weasley would have hexed the professor but the bell had rung. 

Draco looked up as he heard movement in the common room, but there was nobody there. Then the common room door opened without anyone walking in; cursing Draco cast a disillusionment charm on himself and used the _point me_ spell to follow Potter in his invisibility cloak. He hurried after Potter until they reached an abandoned classroom on the fifth floor, where Potter threw off his cloak and pulled out his wand. He was crying silently, and Draco cancelled his charm and wordlessly lit his wand with the _Lumos_ spell. 

“Don’t, Potter.” Draco tried to say these words softly, but they still seemed to echo in the quiet room. Potter jumped and pointed his wand at Draco, before sighing. He ran his hands over his face, and sat down on the floor. 

“What shouldn’t I do, Malfoy?” Harry’s voice still sounded like it was barely used. Draco realized that Potter didn’t know that the Slytherins were aware of his suicidal tendencies, and wondered if he should pretend or not. 

“Don’t kill yourself.” Potter looked up in surprise at this. 

“How do you know about that?”

“Zabini saw your wrist on the train, and we have been monitoring ever since. Not that we care,” Draco sneered this and ignored the pang of guilt, “but we would rather not be blamed for the Saviour of the Wizarding World’s death. Which we will be as we are here in Hogwarts with you.” 

Draco had moved closer to Potter as he was talking, and sat down about a meter away from Potter. Potter watched Draco with an unreadable expression before looking away; he was quiet for so long that Draco started squirming. Finally Potter looked back at Draco, this time with no emotion on his face. 

“I understand. I wish I could promise that I won’t kill myself, but I’m not supposed to be alive. Nothing anyone can say or do will change that, and until I die, the universe will be unbalanced.” 

“Did Trelawney say that, or did the universe speak to you?” Draco snorted. For the first time since the beginning of the school year, Potter shot an angry look at Draco. 

“No, but I know it to be true, Malfoy,” Potter said angrily. “Now leave me alone, so I can do what I came here to do.” Draco raised his eyebrow at Potter, surely he wasn’t dumb enough to think that Draco would listen. 

“No. They can replay the memories of this room and see that I followed you in here; I have no intention of going to Azkaban with my father, Potter, so I will stay here until you leave and then follow you until we go back to the common room.”

Potter stared incredulously at Draco, but Draco did not blink. “You git.” Draco shrugged his shoulders in response. They stayed there for almost two hours before Potter stood up, and Draco silently thanked the heavens. He had nothing to do for those two hours, so he was just practicing wordless summoning charms but that wasn’t the way to earn an ‘O’ in Charms.


	10. Malfoy, Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Suicide Attempt and Language

Harry had been back at Hogwarts for almost two and a half weeks, and had been leaving the Eighth year common room every night at midnight for the last six days with his invisibility cloak on. He had rushed through the corridors to an abandoned classroom, the perfect place in his opinion as it was never used and not close to anything a student might stumble into, and pulled out his wand. He never uttered the first syaball before a “Stop, Potter” was said into the room, and Malfoy would light up his wand. Every single time it was the same thing, and Harry was starting to get irritated. 

For a week, Malfoy had foiled his plan. For a week, Malfoy had somehow known where he was. For a week, Malfoy had sat next to him for hours without saying a word; these last few times he had pulled out his textbooks and started studying, only looking up when Harry shifted. Harry knew he couldn’t do it before all of his roommates went to sleep, and he didn’t want to risk going any later due to the possibility of someone waking up in the middle of the night and noticing his empty bed. 

Harry’s roommates went to bed earlier tonight than they had, so Harry slipped out of bed for the seventh night in a row a little earlier, and put on his cloak, hissing as it brushed against fresh cuts from earlier that evening. He walked down to the common room and looked around for Malfoy; when he didn’t see the boy, Harry silently rejoiced. Finally, Malfoy had decided to go to bed early or expected Harry to leave at midnight, and Harry rushed through the door. He made his way to the fifth floor and into the abandoned classroom, and went to pull off his cloak. He drew his wand out and said the incantation for the cutting curse. He watched the blood start to drip down his arm and slightly smiled. 

Then he heard a “Fucking hell, Potter!” and the same voice cast the counter-curse to stop the blood flowing. Malfoy must have seen his rage, and said _Silencio_ only seconds before Harry screamed. Harry pointed his wand at Malfoy, who just raised his hands instead of trying to defend himself, and Harry wanted to cast some curse to cause Malfoy pain. The rage was replaced by grief almost instantly, and Harry lowered his wand and while dropping to his knees; he was screaming again. Gradually the screaming turned to sobbing, and Harry was too overwhelmed to care that he was doing it in front of Malfoy. 

He felt a hand between his shoulders and jerked out of their grasp; he wasn’t worthy of comfort, he was just a dirty freak who couldn’t even die right. The hand placed itself on Harry’s shoulder this time and pulled him into a hug, and Harry clung onto this person comforting him. Harry couldn’t tell how long it took him to stop crying, but the hand stroking up and down his back never stopped. Once his sobs quieted down enough, he heard soft whispers of “Harry, it’s going to be ok” and “That’s right, just let it out, Harry”. 

Harry felt exhausted and a headache blooming, but the cloudiness that was always there wasn’t blanketing everything anymore. Malfoy’s quiet whispers and hand were still comforting him, and Harry felt extremely embarrassed that he had broken down in front of Malfoy. He croaked out, “Malfoy, stop” and pushed himself into a sitting position. He didn’t want to look at the blonde boy, but forced himself to say “Thanks.”

Malfoy was quiet for a beat before saying, “I was just being a decent human being, Potter. Don’t think it was anything other than that.” Harry snorted and looked at Malfoy, who was extremely pink in the face. He didn’t say anything further on the matter, and just sat in silence with Malfoy for another hour. Then they walked to the common room together. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Harry woke up the next morning and winced at how sore his body and throat were, and decided to go to Madame Pomfrey that morning. Ron and Hermione were waiting for him in the common room, and tried to persuade him to join them in the Great Hall. Harry hadn’t been in the Great Hall since the Welcome feast because he couldn’t look at any part of it without seeing the bodies that lay there after the Battle. Harry also did not have the desire to eat, but Hermione would keep staring at him until he agreed to grab some food. He went down to the kitchens every couple of days, where Dobby had fawned over him and provided huge, heaping plates of food, which he gave the majority of to Ron. 

Harry said goodbye to his friends and took a deep breath, he didn’t want to tell the woman why his body and throat were sore. He walked into the hospital wing and Madame Pomfrey came bustling over towards him. “Well, what have you done this time?” she inquired briskly. 

“My throat,” was all he could manage to get out. She raised her eyebrows at him and ushered him to a bed, where she ran a medical diagnosis on him. She took a sharp breath and looked at him, which made him look out a window. She then performed a quick wand movement and the soreness of throat and body disappeared; she walked away and came back with a blood-replenishing potion. 

“I have to tell the headmaster, it’s school rules Mr. Potter. He won’t make it worse.” Harry could tell that Madame Pomfrey didn’t believe her own assurance, but he just shrugged his shoulders. “You can go to class today, and now that I know my thank you note was because of this, I wish I never received it. Nobody should live this way without trying to get help; I understand your hesitation to go to one, as I subscribe to the Daily Prophet, but there should be one that’s different than that slimy -.” She cut herself off and looked embarrassed, then cleared her throat to continue. “I’m not a licensed Mind Healer or I would offer to help. Goodbye, Mr. Potter.” She hugged Harry quickly and he walked towards the library as he had two free periods this morning before Defense Against the Dark Arts. 

On his first couple of days back, Harry wrote a thank you note to all of the professors who had helped him throughout the years and delivered most of them with his first batch of homework. He had even gone to Snape and requested to be enrolled in the Care of Magical Creatures class so he could do the same to Hagrid. After a lot of pleading, Snape relented and allowed him to join the class. Harry had worked out how to create a charm so that Snape’s, Ron’s, Hermione’s, and Mrs. Weasley’s were delivered once he died, as they would be suspicious of the motive. All of the professors had pulled Harry aside and thanked him profusely for the note, and were a little teary eyed. 

When he reached the library, Malfoy was one of the few people in there. Harry considered what to do for a minute or two before walking to Malfoy’s seat, and sat next to him. Malfoy looked surprised, but Harry’s attention had been caught by the massive table next to Malfoy where every minute of the day was taken by “class”, “studying & homework”, or “community service”. Even his food time had “eat/study”. 

“When do you socialize, Malfoy? This is an insane schedule!” 

“Right here, from 8-9 PM on Mondays and Fridays. As it is 7:50 AM on a Thursday, I am doing my homework, not socializing.” After he said this, he bent back over his parchment. Harry cocked his head and saw he was proof-reading the essay Hartley had assigned to be turned in today. Harry’s expression turned dark at the thought of Hartley; the man was crueler than Snape and a worse teacher than Umbridge. He had made Hermione cry twice already: once when he said she was less attractive than an elephant and the other time when he failed her for her answers being “too close to the book’s answer, my God have an original thought, Granger.” Harry saw that Malfoy had mixed up the features on the different types of trolls they were re-visiting, due to Hartley’s fear of them all being incomptent. 

“The river troll is the one with short horns, not the mountain troll.” Malfoy looked up surprised then flipped through his Defense textbook proving that Harry was right. He used some ink Harry had never seen before and “erased” the offending word before writing in the correct one. He then grumbled a word of thanks, which Harry shrugged to. Harry pulled out his own homework to revise his essay.

After working for a little while Harry said, “Why do you keep stopping me? You hate me.” 

Malfoy looked at him for a moment before saying, “I stopped hating you the moment the Dark Lord punished my mother because I was taking too long to complete the task he assigned; he punished her even though he knew I would ultimately fail. There are more important things than a childhood grudge. As to why I keep stopping you, my friends and I will be blamed for your death,” he hesitated and a slight blush creeped up his face, “and I can’t stand by and let someone die anymore.” He looked haunted as he stared towards the bookshelves. 

“I have to die, though, because I did die and only came back to defeat Voldemort. Colin Creevey’s dad had it right when he punched me at the funeral and said it should have been me. All of those deaths are because of me.”

“That’s bullshite, Potter. Everyone who died in the Second Wizarding World was because of the Dark Lord, and the ones who died at Hogwarts had the opportunity to leave. They didn’t because they thought the light was worth fighting for, and they would be pissed to know you’re shortchanging their sacrifice.” 

Harry blinked at Malfoy’s words and started to wonder if the blonde boy was right, but before they could talk anymore about it, a first year Gryffindor came up to Harry. 

“Mr. Harry, sir? My friend said you were the one who fought in a war last year, is he right?” Harry blinked at this tiny blonde girl before slowly nodding. “Oh good, I thought he tricked me again. My parents don’t have magic, so I don’t really know a lot of things and the kids keep making fun of me for it.” She looked down at her shoes with tears in her eyes, but then took a calming breath. “Professor Hartley makes fun of me more than the rest of the class too, so I’m scared to ask him for help. So I thought you might be able to help me, because I’m having a really hard time understanding werewolf bites, and it’s only the first thing we’ve learnt. Can you help me, please?”

Harry looked over at Malfoy who was looking at the girl with a mixture of curiosity and pity. He looked back at the girl who was obviously very terrified and nodded. “Yeah, I can help. Bring your stuff over here and we can go over your textbook.” She visibly brightened and rushed over to the table where a boy with black hair was upending a jar of ink into a bag, which Harry thought was probably the blonde girl’s bag. 

“That’s another reason you shouldn’t, whether you like it or not, the Wizarding World needs you.”


	11. The Meeting

Harry helped the girl, Ida, with her Defense homework and she was happy that she finally understood why they needed to put a mixture of silver and dittany in a werewolf bite. His own Defense Against the Dark Arts class was horrible and Hartley seemed to want to take out his bad mood on anyone who looked at him. Even Hermione didn’t raise her hand to answer questions, and Hartley deducted fifteen points from the eighth years out of sheer spite. Ron opened his mouth to argue, but Hermione elbowed him to stop him from saying anything. 

The bell rang dismissing the class and everyone raced towards the door, but Hartley’s voice rang out. “Mr. Potter, I have a note from the Headmaster here. Take it so I’m not tempted to read it.” Harry bit back a sigh and walked to the desk; grabbing the note, he said a quick word of thanks, and walked out of the classroom. Ron and Hermione did not hear Hartley telling Harry to grab the note, and hadn’t noticed that Harry wasn’t walking with them anymore. Harry was ok with that as he didn’t want to make an excuse for why Snape wanted to see him; his friends only spoke to him while they were walking to breakfast, and seemed to forget him throughout the day. Harry’s plan to distance himself was working, but he still felt a pang of sadness when his friends forgot about him.

Shaking the thoughts away, Harry unraveled the note which said, “Potter, I know you don’t deign the Great Hall worthy of your presence during lunch, and the rest of the day is a free period for Eighth Years. Come to my office as soon as you have eaten. - Headmaster Severus Snape.” Groaning, Harry walked around the castle for a bit to make it seem like he had eaten something. Then Harry walked to the Headmaster’s office and looked at the gargoyle; knowing Snape would never give Harry the password to his office, Harry spoke to the gargoyle, “The Headmaster wanted to see me.” After a few moments of just standing there, the gargoyle leapt aside and the staircase was revealed. Harry stepped onto the stairs and let them take him up to Snape’s office. 

Harry knocked on the door and heard a silky voice say, “Come in.” Snape sat behind the Headmaster’s desk and regarded Harry with cool, assessing eyes. Harry shut the door behind him and walked to the desk, warily. “Sit, Potter.” Harry sat down and wondered if Snape would start or end with saying that Harry was attention-seeking, or would he sneer at Harry and say he wasn’t worthy of having Lily’s eyes. After an intense stare-off, Snape finally spoke.

“Potter, if any of the contents of this discussion I divulge to you becomes common knowledge amongst the students, I will expel you for causing harm to a student. That being said, I will attempt to help you, so that you are no longer a risk to yourself. I too had difficulties surrounding the war and my part in it, and I feared going to a Mind Healer that would accept the Dark Mark would warrant a similar occurrence to the one you endured during the summer. So I researched Muggle Psychologists and found an American woman who practices in London, and after a few appointments accidentally said something unmistakably magical; which is how I learnt this American woman was a squib. She does not wish to involve herself with the magical world, so your secrets are safe with her. She has been an immense help to me since I do not need to hide magical elements but she will not betray my trust, and has agreed to see you. I have set an appointment to start in ten minutes. Do you have the banking card that automatically exchanges Wizard money to Muggle money?”

Harry was trying to process everything Snape had told him, but shook his head in response to the question about the bank card. Snape sighed and flicked his wand, and a small rectangle flew at Snape. “This is mine, I will be reimbursed by the Hogwarts fund. I would recommend looking into it, but should you pay with your own funds, you will be reimbursed for up to three sessions a week. It is a fund I set up new this year, and you will not be the first taking advantage, Potter. See how many sessions a week you need, and then I will take down the Apparition Wards for my office only at those times. First you will go with me since you do not know where to go. Ready?” 

Harry nodded and took Snape’s arm; they apparated to a street in Muggle London that Harry did not recognize and walked to a building that did not stand out from the rest. Harry took care to remember the street name and number of the building before walking in. Snape pointed out the name on the directory “ _Mira Johnson, PhD, LCSW._ ” “That’s her, her office is on the sixth floor. The Apparition Wards will drop in an hour and ten minutes and will be down for five minutes.” After saying that, Snape spun on his heel and walked out of the building. 

Feeling nervous, Harry walked to the elevator and pushed the button for the sixth floor; the Dursleys had talked about psych wards often while Harry was growing up, and he was afraid of being placed in one. Vowing to not mention his suicide attempts so that he wouldn’t be committed, Harry walked into the office and smelt lavender. The walls were a soft purple, with flowers painted along the wall, and the receptionist had a calming voice which made the whole office very non-intimidating, but Harry was still extremely nervous. He walked up to the receptionist and said that he had an appointment, to which she handed him some forms. After filling out the forms, he sat down and waited. 

He didn’t have to wait long because Mira Johnson walked out and told him to go into her office. He sat down on a comfy chair and squirmed while the older lady watched him; she was in her late fifties if Harry had to guess, but looked very professional. Finally she spoke with her American accent, “Hello, Harry. I’m Mira Johnson, but you can call me Mira; I’m from the United States, and I have three grandchildren. I’ve been practicing psychology for over thirty years and received my PhD almost five years ago. What do you want to tell me about yourself?” 

Her voice was pleasant and she spoke in a manner that put Harry on edge for an unknown reason, “I’m Harry Potter, and I’m eighteen. I lost my parents when I was one, and the man that murdered them, Voldemort, tried to kill me as well. The scar it gave me made me famous, and Voldemort targeted me almost every year at school after I turned eleven.” Mira looked shocked and wrote down something in her notebook. 

“What a tragic way to become famous. Who did you live with for your childhood then?”

“I don’t want to talk about them.”

“Ok, that’s fine. You said almost every year, how many years weren’t you targeted?”

“Just the one when I was thirteen, but I thought I was being targeted that year too. A “mass murderer” escaped from Azkaban and everyone thought he was after me; he was my dad’s best mate and my godfather, but they said he had betrayed my mum and dad which allowed Voldemort to murder them.”

“What a distressing year and thought, but he didn’t betray your parents?”

“No he didn’t, but I don’t want to talk about him anymore.”

“Ok, well why were you not protected in school?”

“Trouble seems to follow me, and I’m nosy.”

“So you went searching for danger?”

“Not exactly, but I always thought I was the only one who could protect what was at risk those first few years. After my fifth year, Voldemort was too powerful to stop.”

“Well, were you the only one who could protect “what was at risk”?”

“No.”

“Ok, well it seems like you're unwilling to talk more about that either. What do you want to talk about for the remainder of the session?”

“Why am I here?”

“You’re here because Severus said you might be dealing with stress poorly, and thought I could help.”

“Snape doesn’t know me or like me; I don’t know his actual motive, but it can’t be a good one.”

“Well, that’s for you two to discuss and find out.”

“What’s your grandchildren’s names?”

For the remainder of the session Harry would deflect one of Mira’s questions with a question about her personal life, which she would answer then repeat her question. Harry felt smugly satisfied when the woman seemed relieved that the session was over, but then listened to her say that she wanted to meet with him once a week for now. Harry paid for the session and scheduled the appointment with the receptionist who seemed a little too interested in Snape. Then he apparated back to Snape’s office, leaving a note with the next time and date for his session and the bank card.


	12. The Handshake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Draco become friends.

Draco had just placed his bag down in the library when Potter walked in and made his way towards Draco’s seat. He had been sitting with Draco everyday for the last week and a half, since the day after Draco had found Potter with his wrist bleeding. Potter now only went to the abandoned classroom every few nights instead of every night, but Draco knew the moment he didn’t follow, Potter would make an attempt at his own life again. 

“Potter you know that my timetable has no room for socializing until eight tonight.”

“Come to Quidditch try-outs tomorrow at 5. I need to pick a team, since our first game is in four weeks. I need a good player, so Snape doesn’t murder me. That’s not the way I want to go.”

Draco looked at Potter with an eyebrow raised; he had forgotten the Boy-Who-Lived-Twice was Quidditch Captain this year. Potter seemed to forget that they both played the same position, though. 

“I’ve always been a seeker, and last I checked that was what you were.”

“I know that,” Potter sounded frustrated, “but you’re a bloody good flyer. I know that three out of five of the people interested in a chaser position are awful flyers. Please be a chaser for the team, I know you're decent at it.” Draco sighed as he remembered that he went and played with Potter, Blaise, Pansy, Thomas, and Longbottom on Saturday. 

“I can’t afford to add Quidditch to my already full schedule.” 

“I’ll only schedule practice once a week, but it’ll be for three hours. I’ll expect you at all of them, though.”

“And if a game interrupts my community service?”

“It won’t.”

“Fine, but if even one person is close to me in terms of skill, I expect you to pick them.”

“Thanks, Draco.” Draco looked at Potter. It was the first time the tan boy had called Draco by first name. They were starting to be friendly, sure; it was hard not to when Draco spent hours around the boy. Potter seemed to realize this too, and blushed. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next night Draco walked into the common room exhausted after his Astronomy lesson, but he had work to make up from the two hours he missed by having Quidditch try-outs, so he couldn’t go to sleep for another few hours. He also had to re-work his timetable to fit in a three hour practice every week and games. Draco wanted to rap his head against a wall a few times, but he had no time for that. He also didn’t have time for Potter walking into the common room, this time without his cloak, and walking straight towards Draco. 

Draco wanted to make a comment about how he couldn’t afford any more time to Potter, but he was afraid of crossing a line. Also, he wasn’t that big of a prick to put his grades above a human’s life. Instead of going towards the door, Potter sat down beside Draco and looked at his pile of things to do. He looked like he wanted to say something, but was hesitant. Finally Potter spoke up.

“I’m sorry for being such a rubbish friend. I know you would rather be studying than following me, or talking to me right now.”

“Keeping someone safe from harm is more important than school; it’s obvious that you’re not inclined to keep yourself safe, so I’ll keep intervening. That doesn’t mean we’re friends.”

“Then why did you join the Quidditch team?” 

Draco snorted, “Because Snape would have killed you if the team was rubbish, and I’ve been working so hard to keep you from dying.”

Potter laughed softly at that, but it trailed off as sudden as it started. “That was my first time laughing since before…” Harry, no Potter, didn’t need to finish his sentence for Draco to understand; what Draco didn’t understand was the feeling in his stomach when Harry, shit Potter, admitted that Draco made him laugh for the first time in months. Draco cursed himself, he had a childish crush on the Saviour before he met Harry Potter, and then ruthlessly squashed the crush when the prat refused his handshake. He could not start crushing on the Golden Boy again.

“When do you eat?” Potter looked surprised at Draco’s question, then a blush rose to his cheeks. 

“I sometimes grab something for breakfast from Dobby if Hermione harasses me enough about it, but that’s only every three days or so.”

“That’s not healthy. You need to eat at least once a day, especially if you’re going to be playing Quidditch. I’ve read articles detailing the importance of eating, I’ll share them with you.” Draco reached into his bag and pulled out the Muggle health magazine he subscribes to. “There is actually a fascinating article about it in this issue.”

“This a Muggle magazine.”

“Yes, well.” Draco cleared his throat and tried to stop his cheeks from turning red, but he was failing. “The war caused me to either cause pain and death or stand by doing nothing while it happened too often, so I am going to repay my debt to society by becoming a healer. However, I don’t know if the Wizarding World will let me, so I’m preparing myself to potentially become a Muggle doctor. Their healing is barbaric, but maybe I can find a way to polish it without landing myself into trouble with the Ministry.”

Potter was staring at Draco like he was the most fascinating thing in the room. Then he cleared his throat and looked away. Without looking at Draco, Potter said, “Luna said you saved her life while she was imprisoned at Malfoy Manour, but wouldn’t say how.” He was obviously prompting, and Draco decided to tell him. 

“They forgot to feed the prisoners sometimes, so I snuck them food. The first time I wasn’t careful, and was punished by my aunt then the Dark Lord a few days later. She had heard me being punished, and decided the next times I brought food were braver than they were.” 

Again Potter was staring at him with that strange expression. “You reminded me of my bully of a cousin when we first met, so I instantly disliked you. I’m sorry for implying you were the wrong sort, I mean you might have been but I don’t really know. Anyways, you’re definitely not the wrong sort of wizard anymore. So, um, friends?” Potter’s cheeks had flushed and he was rubbing the back of his neck with his left hand. His right hand was held out. 

Draco considered for a moment and Potter wilted, but he kept his hand out. Draco shook his hand with a vague sense of satisfaction and happiness that stemmed from someone noticing his efforts to change. Draco was pleased that at least one person wasn’t judging him from the mark on his arm, or his last name. He never would have thought that person would be Potter, but he also didn’t expect quite a few things about Potter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone thank you for the comments and kudos. I greatly appreciate it!


	13. Ida's Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry helps the Frist Years because Hartley's a dick

Harry saw Draco sitting in the library and walked over to the blonde boy; he had just finished his weekly session with Mrs. Johnson, and he wondered when the older woman would decide to stop the sessions since Harry only talked about unimportant things during the sessions. They had met five times now, and Harry had still not told her the name of his godfather. Truthfully, Draco was the only person he really talked to now; neither Ron or Hermione had said a word to him in weeks. 

Ron had been angry over his picks for the Quidditch team. His original picks for the team were:

Keeper: Ron Weasley  
Seeker: Harry Potter  
Beaters: Megan Jones and Mandy Brocklehurst  
Chasers: Draco Malfoy, Dean Thomas, and Abby Runcorn

Dean and Ron had threatened to quit because Draco was on the team, and Harry had just told them to go ahead. He proceeded to say that Draco was one of the best fliers that tried-out for the position of chaser, and if they cared more about house rivalries, then he didn’t need them on the team. Dean and Ron shot Harry a very nasty look, but Ron stayed while Dean walked out. Harry then told Sue Li that she would be the third chaser. 

Ron had stopped talking to Harry because he was angry that Harry had let Draco on the team, but had seemed to overcome his anger at him after the first practice. Ron had apologized to Harry over his overreaction that evening, but Harry didn’t acknowledge the apology; Harry had to stop himself from talking to Ron because the red-headed boy was hurt over the lack of response from Harry. Hermione had stopped talking to him because it seemed like Ron reminded Hermione to wait for Harry before leaving for breakfast, and she was too preoccupied with her studies and Prefect duties to remember Harry. After the first day, Harry actively avoided his friends since this was the perfect opportunity to create distance so they wouldn’t be too hurt once Harry killed himself.

Harry sat down at Draco’s table shaking his head clear from the thoughts clouding his mind. Draco sighed loudly and moved his stuff over a bit; this was his new way of greeting Harry and Harry secretly thought it was adorable. Harry didn’t go to the abandoned classroom anymore, instead sat with Draco in front of the fire; Harry found that the more he talked to Draco, the less the cloudiness seemed to coat his brain. He still thought he should be dead, but he found that he wanted to stay alive to find out more about Draco. The blonde boy was fascinating; he had suffered from the war too, but was trying to rebuild his life into something he wanted it to be instead of letting the grief weigh him down. 

“Potter, if you’re going to stare at me, please don’t think so loudly. It’s distracting.” Harry blushed and looked down quickly, which made Draco laugh. Harry looked up at him and glared, but Draco didn’t notice since he had buried his head in his homework again. Harry looked back down to his homework and wanted to sigh; Draco constantly being in the library meant that Harry no longer waited until the weekend to do all of his homework, but it was boring doing homework every day. 

“Mr. Harry, sir. It’s me, Ida.” Harry jumped and looked at the tiny, blonde first year he had helped with her Defense homework a month ago. She was blushing again, and looked nervous. Harry smiled at her to reassure her. She took a deep breath and said, “I don’t understand my Defense homework again, and Professor Hartley isn’t any nicer to me.” 

Draco snorted and said, “Hartley was born a dick and he’s not going to change. Don’t worry he’s an arse to everyone.” Ida’s eyes grew as wide as saucers, and she glanced between Draco and Harry. Harry glared at Draco and hissed, “Malfoy watch your language around the kid.” Draco looked at Harry and shrugged. 

Harry looked back at Ida who looked more terrified than she did when she walked over to him. “Don’t worry Ida, Draco wasn’t trying to be mean to you. He’s just a bit grumpy because _he_ was born that way.” Draco rolled his eyes at Harry, and Ida giggled softly. “I’ll help you with your Defense homework, if you want.” 

She nodded and then bit her lip again. “I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand the lessons. There’s also this boy from Hufflepuff that doesn’t understand, and the boy that’s mean to me, Caleb. Can you help them too?” 

Harry blinked but nodded, “Sure, but are you sure about Caleb coming?”

“He’s mean, but he also deserves to understand our lessons.” She shrugged while saying this, like it was obvious. 

“Ok, are they here already?” 

“No, but I can get them and bring them here.”

“Let’s go somewhere where we won’t have Madam Pince glaring at us for talking, yeah?” Ida blinked and then glanced around seemingly to look for Pince with an anxious look on her face. “I know an abandoned classroom on the fifth floor that is big enough for whatever you are learning about in Defense. How about we meet off the staircase in an hour, will that work?” 

Ida nodded and hurried out of the Library. Draco watched Harry with an unreadable expression, which Harry raised his eyebrow at. “What?”

“You won’t be able to use that classroom for the intentions you originally had for it, if you’re starting a study group.” 

Harry blinked at Draco. “It’s just one meeting.” Draco snorted and shook his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first started writing this story, Harry leading a study group is what I had in mind to start to bring him out of his depression. I thought it would be a way for him to feel needed without being the "Chosen One."


	14. Snape's Request

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape watches a tutoring session and has a request. Sorry for any OOC of Snape, I just really like the idea of him trying to redeem himself after how horrible he was during the war (although re-reading the books makes that seem impossible).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... I'm super embarrassed by the lack of post, especially since I had this chapter plus two more already written. I have dealt with depression and anxiety my entire life, and the virus just made it so much worse. I'm going to try to stick to an every three day posting schedule until this is fully posted. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

Harry glanced at the group of first years waiting for him in the classroom on the fifth floor which they had been using every Monday evening for the past three sessions of Defense Against the Dark Arts tutoring. That first Monday session Ida had showed up with five other classmates instead of two, and now there was a group of over twenty first years here. Apparently Ida had made signs for each of the common rooms because multiple second years, third years, fourth years, and fifth years had all approached Harry about setting up a study session for their year. Draco had been next to him during each of these requests and kept repeating “It’s just one meeting” while laughing. 

Draco was looking at the group, and walked up to one first year who had opened Ida’s bag; the first year glanced up at Draco and hastily pushed Ida’s bag away. Draco still looked down at the eleven year old and said something to him, which caused the red-haired boy to shake his head furiously and Caleb to glance at Harry uneasily. Caleb and Terrence, the red-haired boy, were inseparable and had both decided to bully Ida; Ida’s slightly chubby red-haired friend, Jakob, tried to stop them and they turned their bullying onto the poor Hufflepuff too. The four first years had been to every meeting, but Harry couldn’t tell if the Gryffindor boys were only there to pick on Ida and Jakob. Draco often waded through the first years to separate the four kids, which Harry was very thankful for. 

Truthfully he didn’t know why Draco came with him to each tutoring session, but he was grateful for the blonde boy’s presence. He was kind to the kids who came in, and helped Harry answer questions or read over homework that was handed to him. Draco helped Harry come up with a timetable to fit in his classes, study/homework time, Quidditch, and these tutoring sessions with every year having a potential time. Harry was anxious to start sessions with any more years, though, due to a fear they only wanted to come because he was the Boy-Who-Lived. Draco had told him twice that it was unfair to only tutor the first years, when Hartley was an awful professor that each year had to deal with. Harry had ignored the comment both times, and Draco let the subject drop. 

He quieted down the group of first years and started asking them what they wanted to go over before they started practicing or having Harry/Draco look over their homework. A Ravenclaw boy with black hair, Joseph, had been the first person to raise their hand. Joseph usually asked questions that were significantly more advanced about what the first years were studying, and Draco had started to answer him out of the classroom to avoid confusing the other first years. This time was no different and he had already started walking to the doorway when he finished his question, Harry watched the interaction with a fond smile. 

He answered the other questions and helped Ida with her _Lumos_ spell, gently corrected a Slytherin girl named Tiffany’s homework, and explained what an Imp was more times than he could count. Draco was doing the same, but when the questions had started easing towards a more manageable level, he started doing his own homework. After an hour of tutoring, the first years started leaving the classroom, and only Tiffany was left. She looked like she wanted to say something, but was too scared to. 

“Is something wrong, Tiffany?” Harry asked gently. 

“I wanted to thank you for not being mean to me and the other Slytherins that come. We were afraid you would be.” She looked down at her shoes after finishing her statement. Harry knelt down and gently lifted her chin; she had tears in her eyes, but was blinking furiously. 

“Whatever happened last year is not Slytherin’s fault; it was all the action of one man, and his house stopped mattering once he left Hogwarts. Slytherins have just as much of a right to be here as everyone else; your house isn’t what makes you good or bad, it’s your actions.The hate between houses needs to stop, so maybe you and your classmates can be the start of Hogwarts wide inter-house unity.” 

Tiffany let the tears fall and wrapped her arms around Harry; he fought down the instant reaction to stiffen at the sudden contact, and hugged the blonde Slytherin girl back. She let go quickly and waved bye to Draco, who looked like he had been punched in the gut. Harry blinked at him and cocked his head to the side. He shook his head and glanced between the classroom’s doorway and Harry, obviously wanting to leave but not wanting to leave Harry alone. Harry heard movement behind him, and spun around with his wand out. 

It was Snape who looked at Harry with a curious expression on his face. Harry lowered his wand and heard Draco exclaim in surprise. Snape inclined his head at Draco and gestured to two seats. “Sit, Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy. I have some things I need to discuss with the pair of you.”

“It’s not against the rules to form a study group,” Draco said with some heat behind his words. Harry thought it was probably because he was afraid of being in trouble due to his probation. 

“I am aware of that Mr. Malfoy, neither of you are in trouble. I actually want to commend you both for this study group, and I have no desire to disband it. I admit that I watched the last two sessions to see if it was inclusive and staying to the curriculum set by Professor Hartley. I was pleasantly surprised to witness that it was doing both. However, the other years deserve to have a group set up as well. I also want to potentially set up sessions for the other subjects, but some of the other Professors might take offense if I start sessions for their subjects.”

“Why would they take offense, Headmaster? And do you not care what Hartley thinks?”

“ _Professor_ Hartley, Potter, even though he does not necessarily deserve the title, however those words will not leave this room, understand?” Draco and Harry both nodded, and Snape seemed satisfied. “I am considering what my feelings might have been should the Headmaster had started a study group for my classes, and I would not have pleased. I would have assumed the Headmaster thought me incapable of teaching adequately, but I realize that I did not have the time as a Professor to have a session like this for each year on top of my classes. So, I am strongly suggesting you figure out how to set up a session like this for the core classes that every first through fifth year is required to take. Once the other Professors find out about the sessions, I will deal with the fall-out, but I believe they will eventually be pleased. The setup is completely up to you two.” 

Harry and Draco both looked at each other, and Harry saw excitement in the blonde boy’s eyes. However, Harry might have been projecting his own feelings onto his friend; for the first time in months Harry was excited, and he wanted to start right away. He then realized that he enjoyed tutoring and helping others learn, but it was different from the feeling he had gotten after a DA session. Harry and Draco both looked back at Snape and nodded; Harry must have been imagining it because he thought he saw a ghost of a smile on the Headmaster’s lips. 

Draco and Harry both stood up to leave when Snape did, but Snape softly said “Mr. Potter stay behind, please,” when they had taken a few steps. Harry stopped and turned towards Snape slightly wary. Snape was regarding him with the curious expression again, and Harry realized that Snape hadn’t been a git during the whole conversation. Then he thought about the times he had traveled into Snape’s office to go to his therapy sessions, and realized Snape hadn’t been awful to him for a couple of weeks now. 

“Potter, I apologize for spying during your heartfelt moment with Tiffany,” this comment would usually be brimming with sarcasm, venom, or something nasty, but it was said without emotion. “I am truthfully hoping to achieve inter-house unity during my time as Headmaster, and trying to avoid favouring one house. It will take more than just my efforts, though, and I hope that you will not hold any student’s house against them during these sessions.” 

Harry didn’t need to think about it before saying, “I meant every word I said to her. Had the rivalry not existed, I might have been friends with Draco, Blaise, and Pansy much longer than a month.”

Harry had to be imagining it, but he could have sworn Snape’s lips twisted up into amusement without the usual cruelty, “Indeed. I did not help inter-house unity as a Professor, but I am trying to redeem myself. I appreciate your pledge to help inter-house unity, Mr. Potter. There is one last matter I wish to discuss with you, which is your reluctance to join the school in the Great Hall. It might be beneficial for the school, and your classmates, to see you sitting next to Mr. Malfoy, however I believe your absence stems from a deeper issue. I know that Mr. Malfoy regularly asks Dobby to bring you food three times a day, but I also know you do not always eat.”

“I didn’t know Draco was the one asking Dobby to bring me food, because Dobby wouldn’t tell me. I haven’t told anyone why I don’t go to the Great Hall, sir.” 

“Yes, well, maybe tell someone. The school is paying for you to talk to someone once a week; I’m sure she would be a great person to talk to.” Snape said this dryly and Harry snorted without thinking about it. 

“I’ll try, sir.”

Snape nodded and walked towards the door. Once they both walked out of the room, Snape looked back at Harry and said, “By the way, Mr. Potter. Congratulations on the win against Ravenclaw on the 24th, you have put together a wonderful team.” Harry was flabbergasted at the direct compliment from Snape and nodded in response.


	15. The Common Room Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because Harry is friends with Draco doesn't mean that everybody is on board.

Draco rushed back to the common room after Snape’s discussion with his thoughts swirling around his head. Harry was taking up more time than he could afford to give, but Draco did not regret a second spent with Harry. His grades were still second best in most subjects, and he had actually out-performed Granger in Potions during their last class. It had taken quite a bit of restraint to not rub it in Granger’s face, but he had remained civil even when Weasley had loudly whispered to Granger about Draco probably cheating. Granger had thrown many concerned glances at Harry during the last month and a half because the Saviour had stopped sitting with his best friends in favour of sitting with Draco. Draco didn’t think Weasley had noticed his best mate’s absence for a few weeks, but when he did realize that Harry had apparently abandoned them for the Slytherins, his hostility had grown. 

Draco didn’t pay attention to the Weasel, but Zabini and Pansy were growing extremely irritated by him; Longbottom had started sitting with them when Weasley’s comments grew unnecessarily harsh, and after a hex hitting Zabini, Longbottom spun around and hexed Weasley’s mouth shut. It was probably the best thing Draco had ever witnessed, but his attention was drawn to the look on Zabini’s face, which was a look Draco never thought he would see on the playboy’s face. Zabini slept around without ever getting attached to his latest conquest, but it looked like Zabini was starting to grow attached to the Gryffindor. This prompted Draco to start inviting Longbottom to any gathering of the Slytherin’s, but also claimed it was to, “Make Potter more comfortable by including another Gryffindork.” Pansy was none the wiser but Zabini always shot him a nasty look, that Draco thought was entirely uncalled for. 

The beginnings of Draco’s own crush on Harry had wormed its way into Draco’s heart, but he had been ruthlessly ignoring it. Draco knew that Harry needed a friend more than a potential boyfriend, and Draco thought Harry would probably never like the blonde boy like that anyways. However, his heart was ignoring his head’s frankly reasonable explanation. Then Harry had comforted the Slytherin girl and said all of that shit about Slythernins not being bad, and Draco had fallen in love with the messy haired, insufferable, wonderful Golden Boy. He groaned and walked into the common room. 

By some miracle, Pansy, Zabini, and Longbottom were all sitting in front of the fireplace, and Draco walked towards his friends. Then fell on his face from a tripping jinx sent by Hopkins, his Hufflepuff roommate with a grudge. Most of the common room broke out into laughter and Draco felt his face flush. He desperately wanted to hex the sneering boy, but knew better. It seemed like Longbottom did not.

“Oi, what the hell, Hopkins? Draco just walked into the common room, what’s your problem?”

“Well, you see, Longbottom, he is a Death Eater. And I, frankly, don’t feel comfortable with him still being here.”

“Well I don’t feel comfortable living with a bully, Hopkins. Leave Draco, and the rest of the Slytherins alone.”

“What will you do if I don’t Longbottom? Last I checked, you’re still rubbish at magic.”

“He won’t be alone, and I’m fairly sufficient in hexes.” Sue Li had taken a place next to Longbottom. 

“Sue you’re a Muggle-Born! How can you be defending the Death Eater?” This came from Dean Thomas who had started standing next to Hopkins. 

“Last I checked, Draco has never mentioned my blood status, treats me very fairly on the team, and has helped me with some of my Charms homework. Who cares what he was forced to do during a war none of us had a choice in living through?” 

“He’s just waiting until it’s time to strike!” Hopkins again. 

“Oh shut it, you absolute fool! Who’s he going to strike for? The person attached to his hip is Harry Potter.” This came from Terry Boot, but he had not moved from his chair in the corner of the room. The members of the room had started murmuring about Boot’s comment. A few looked disgusted but most nodded in agreement. 

“Malfoy probably used the Imperius Curse on Potter,” Hopkins declared, which was such a wild accusation that Draco’s mouth had fallen open. 

“That explains why he doesn’t spend time around Weasley and Granger,” said a Hufflepuff girl. 

“His wand is being checked by the Ministry, he wouldn’t have used the Imperius Curse,” said a Ravenclaw girl. 

“He probably used someone else’s wand!” shouted a Hufflepuff boy. 

“That’s ridiculous!” said a Hufflepuff girl next to him. 

“Harry has not been put under the Imperius Curse. Ron and I have just been terrible friends to Harry so far this year, and Draco has been there for him.” Granger had stood up and walked next to Longbottom after saying this. The noise in the common room died while everyone stared at her. 

“How do you know, Mione? Harry has been acting really strange for the last few months!” Weasley’s face had almost turned the same colour as his hair. Granger stared incredulously at Weasley, and the rest of the room broke out into loud conversation. The door opened, and everyone stopped talking. Harry had walked through the doorway with a small smile that dropped off his face when he surveyed the scene. 

“What’s going on?” Harry asked with one foot in the hallway, and one foot out. 

“Hopkins jinxed Draco, and an argument broke out. Apparently Draco is using the Imperius Curse on you, as that can be the only reason you are friends with us Slytherins.” Zabini had answered Harry, and Harry looked slightly angry but mostly incredulous. 

“That’s so untrue I don’t even want to respond to the accusation. What is wrong with you all? Can’t we just live through this year, earn our N.E.W.T.S. with no drama, and stop fighting? Wasn’t there enough fighting the last few years?” 

Most of the room looked relieved and nodded. Slowly the normal conversation had started back up, but Hopkins and Weasley were staring at Harry with looks of disbelief. Harry ignored them and walked to the fireplace, sitting next to Zabini. He looked over his shoulder and called out to Granger. 

“Hey, Hermione, will you join us? I have something I want to ask you about.” Granger looked shocked, but very relieved. She nodded with a huge smile on her face, and Draco knew that she was about to become a regular member of their friend group. Draco took the seat next to Pansy and said a quiet word of thanks to Longbottom. 

“Don’t mention it, Draco, it’s what friends do.” Oh God, he had an equal number of Gryffindor and Slytherin friends now. What was his life becoming?


	16. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if this chapter has been edited. Please point out any mistakes.

“So yeah to condense it, Draco and I have been tutoring a group of first years in Defense Against the Dark Arts for a few weeks, and Snape wants us to extend it to every year. He also wants us to start a group for the core classes that every first through fifth year is required to take. None of you have to help, but I wanted to ask if you guys wanted to.”

Draco watched Harry throughout his entire speech, and could not help sharing the raven-hair boys enthusiasm. He went to every session so far because he enjoyed watching Harry while helping the first years; Harry looked less sad, talked without prompting, and was invested. The boy that tutored the first years was a very different boy from the one at the beginning of the year. Harry had even started talking to the other Slytherins and Longbottom; Pansy and Zabini often encouraged the conversation, and neither had mentioned their plan in weeks. 

“I was thinking of having a rotating tutor for the other subjects, as it is quite a big commitment; I know you will want to take every year, Harry, but maybe think about sharing the responsibility with at least one other. You still have your own classwork and Quidditch to think about.” 

Harry looked thoughtful instead of hurt, and Draco let out a silent sigh of relief. He had been afraid the statement would hurt Harry or curb his excitement. Draco noticed Granger staring at the pair of them and tried to ignore her. After a minute Harry nodded slowly. 

“Yeah I could take most of the sessions, but it would make sense to have help. How will we find someone who is proficient and wants to help with each subject. We will need to set up five sessions each for Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration, History of Magic, Astronomy, Herbology, and Potions. We will also need to factor Quidditch practices. It will take a bit of work.”

“I could figure out Herbology. I know Snape said he was worried about the Professors being miffed, but I believe Professor Sprout will love the idea. I can take years 3-5 for Herbology, since it’s the only thing I’m good at.” Longbottom finished with a self-deprecating laugh. 

“You’re good at a few more things then Herbology, Neville,” Zabini had purred. Longbottom’s face turned red, and Zabini looked smug. Draco was surprised that the two boys were apparently already an item, but quickly shook the feeling away. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to have all the houses in the same session?” Zabini was looking at Draco while asking this. 

“It’s been working so far. Also we should really start pushing for inter-house unity.” Harry had interjected, and Zabini raised his eyebrows and scoffed. The war had caused the Slytherin to stop being as arrogant and smug, but he still had traits that made him come across as an arsehole. Harry shot an angry look at Zabini, and the boy raised his hands instead of retaliating. 

“I will help out with Charms, as it is my gift. Not surprising considering how charming I am.” Zabini had a charming smile plastered on his face while saying this, and Pansy snorted and Longbottom laughed. Zabini’s mask broke and he laughed, which caused the rest of the group, minus Granger, to laugh.

“I’m not particularly gifted with academics, but I could help with History of Magic.”

“I forgot that you adored History, Pans. As I’m best with Potions, I’ll lead the effort for that subject.”

“Draco you don’t have to; I know you’re incredibly busy as it is.”

Draco waved off Harry’s comment; true he could barely afford adding another thing, but he wasn’t going to not help Harry when the boy was excited about something. “I find that helping others study, helps my own studying.”

“I can help with Transfiguration, and pick up any other session that needs a tutor in case of an emergency.”

“Of course you would be able to tutor in any subject, Granger. It’s almost like you’re the brightest witch of our age.” Zabini drawled. Granger blushed at the compliment which caused Pansy to snort again. 

“Stop flirting with everyone when your boyfriend is right there, Blaise.”

“Oh, Blaise and I aren’t dating Pansy.” Longbottom had mumbled and looked extremely red. 

“Well that makes the thoughts I have about you extremely awkward, Neville.” Pansy lost it, and even Harry let out a small chuckle at the banter. 

“Thanks for agreeing to help. I really appreciate it.” Harry looked slightly uncomfortable but was staring at the entire group. 

“Well that’s what friends are for, Golden Boy. Not that I thought the day we were friends would ever happen, but I’m not upset about the development. Granger since you’re in the group now, could you help with my Charms work? I’m rubbish at it.” Draco looked at Pansy with surprise; he didn’t know why the girl was trying so hard, but Harry seemed pleased. 

They spent the next few hours discussing how to schedule the sessions, working on homework, and bantering. Draco was sad that he had to leave for his Prefect shift, but smiled at the scene of his friends sitting at the fireplace. He was glad that Harry Potter had came back to Hogwarts for the year, which was a surprise to him.


	17. The Great Hall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry braves the Great Hall.

“I don’t want to be placed in a psych ward.”

“We only involuntarily commit someone as an absolute last resort.” 

Harry stared at Dr. Johnson, not quite believing her. He took a deep breath and decided to trust her anyways. He wanted help, which surprised him, but he was terrified to ask for it. “I feel like I should be dead, and I wanted to die for a long time. Now I still feel like I should die, but I don’t want to. I want to continue tutoring, talk to Draco, build a friendship with Blaise, Pansy, and Neville, and apologize to Hermione and Ron. I want to laugh and smile and be angry and be sad, not just these ghosts of emotions all the time.”

Dr. Johnson was quiet for a few moments and took her glasses off. “The first step to being able to do all of those things is to want to. I’m not going to be able to snap my fingers and make the pain go away, but I will listen, offer advice, and help any way I can.”

“That seems like something you should say during the first meeting, Dr. Johnson.”

“It is, and I consider this our first meeting.”

Harry looked at the older woman and realized she was probably right. He had seen her eight times and had never opened up to her. “Fair enough. I want to go to the Great Hall and eat with my friends, but I can’t walk in without seeing the bodies of everybody who died because of me.”

“They didn’t die because of you, they made their own choices. From what I understand about the war, they died for their beliefs or a madman murdered them. You can’t help the circumstances you were thrown into. What do you think could help you from having a flashback in the Great Hall?”

“I don’t know.” Harry said. 

“Maybe you could be distracted while you walk in, that could keep the focus off the bad memories.” 

Harry blinked and thought about the suggestion. That could work, but what about when he looks at the spot where Remus and Tonks were laid or Colin Creevey. What if he saw Dennis Creevey at the Gryffindor table? He could just stay focused on Draco the entire time, the blonde boy was certainly attractive enough to keep anyone’s attention. Harry then shook that thought from his head as it was not an appropriate thought about his friend. Harry turned his attention back to Dr. Johnson, and once the session was over, he felt for the first time like it was a good session. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks after Harry opened up to Dr. Johnson, he was walking with Draco, Blaise, Pansy, Neville, and Hermione as they had been doing every morning to discuss the tutoring sessions and schedules. Usually Harry broke off from the group at the entrance of the Great Hall and walked around the courtyard until the group finished eating, so they all could walk to Muggle Studies together. This morning, just a typical Wednesday morning, Harry decided to take the plunge and took a deep breath when the group stopped at the entrance to finish up before breaking up. 

“Well, that sums up my sessions with the fourth and second years yesterday. See you in a bit, Harry?”

“Why would you see me in a bit, Nev? Let’s go eat a spot of breakfast. Are we all sitting together?” 

Harry didn’t give himself time to think about it, or for the group to answer, before plunging into the Great Hall. He wanted to stop and turn around, he felt himself start to shake. He knew this was an extremely bad idea. He noticed that the hall was very quiet, and people were staring. His legs were turning into jelly. 

Then Draco whispered into his ear right before placing a hand at the small of his back, “Breathe, love, it’s business as usual. They’re not staring at you because they hate you; they’re staring because you're gorgeous.” 

Harry started walking again with Draco comforting him and keeping the terrible thoughts away from the forefront of his mind. The whispered encouragements continued all the way to the eighth year table and Draco never removed his hand. Harry sat down with Draco on one side and Hermione on the other side with Neville, Blaise, and Pansy sitting across from them. Nobody said anything for the first few moments after sitting down before Harry blurted out, “Do you really think I’m gorgeous, Draco?”

Draco’s entire face turned red and his eyes widened in alarm. There was a beat of stunned silence before the group, minus Harry and Draco, started laughing so hard that it drew the attention of most everyone in the Great Hall. Ron sent a dirty look at the group, along with a few other eighth years. Luna Lovegood seemed to float down onto the seat next to Draco, and looked at the group. Once the laughter died down she spoke up, “What’s the funny thing that happened?”

“Draco called Harry gorgeous, and Harry was shocked.”

“Oh so you were laughing because it’s obvious that Harry and Draco both think each other are attractive?”

“Yes.”

Harry looked at Blaise in shock because he was absolutely sure that he was really good at hiding his infatuation with Draco. He had been hiding it from himself for awhile. Harry thought about saying something over Blaise’s obvious infatuation with Neville, but he didn’t think the Slytherin would be embarrassed. 

“As fascinating as this conversation is,” oh Draco whipped out his Sahara Desert dry voice, “we should talk about upcoming scheduling and tutors for the third years.” 

“I heard about your tutoring program, I want to help. There are also a few other Ravenclaws, especially sixth years, who want to help.” 

“Brilliant, Luna. Do you have a list of who wants to help?”

Harry was glad that the conversation was back on ground he felt comfortable with. Soon they were leaving the Great Hall with a list of people who wanted to help that more than covered all the spots. Harry couldn’t believe the tutoring sessions were kicking off so quickly, he still had the small voice saying that they were only volunteering because it was Harry’s thing. Then he realized that as long as they contributed, what did their motives matter? The eighth years of the group hurried to Muggle Studies, and went about the rest of their day. Harry did not go into the Great Hall for lunch or dinner, but he realized that night he had not thought about the war after he sat down at the table in the Great Hall. He also noticed that Draco had smiled at him a lot more throughout the day and even whispered a “I’m proud of you.”


	18. Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco and Harry talk, and Ron apologizes to Harry.

Harry looked at the sign-up sheet posted in the eighth year’s common room and was surprised that it was already time for the headcount of who was staying at Hogwarts for the winter break. He had been so busy between the tutoring, Quidditch, and classes that the last month had flown by. He could hardly believe that the first term would be ending in a couple of weeks. He felt someone walk up behind him and could smell Draco’s recognizable cologne. 

“Bloody hell, it’s already time to decide where we’re staying for the holiday. Where will you be, Harry?”

“I don’t know, I hadn’t planned to live this long honestly.” He felt Draco’s small flinch and felt slightly bad for having caused it by the casual mention of his suicidal tendencies. He reached over and ran his hand down Draco’s arm to soothe the blonde boy. Draco locked their fingers together seemingly without thinking about it and Harry squeezed his hand. “Where are you going?”

“My mother expects me back at the Manor, but I do not wish to spend my holiday break there. I wish she would sell the place and move to somewhere habitable.” 

“Come to Grimmauld Place with me. I’m going to fix it up so it’s less like the Blacks, and I would like the company. I doubt the Weasley’s will want me at the Burrow. I wouldn’t want to take you away from your mother on Christmas Day, but we could spend the rest of the holiday together.” Harry was surprised the invitation came out of his mouth without him thinking about it, but he was absolutely sure that he wanted to spend the break with Draco. 

Draco glanced at Harry in shock, but quickly looked away. “That sounds lovely Harry. I will ask my mother if I can invite you to our Christmas Dinner; she will probably agree since her sister and your godson will be there. Mother reached out a month ago to mend the burned bridges there.” Then Draco looked down at their connected hands and turned bright red. Harry squeezed his hand again, and then let go. He walked to the doorway and looked over at Draco. 

“That sounds lovely Draco,” he smiled at Draco after mocking the boy’s earlier way of accepting the invitation. “Well are you going to be joining the rest of the school for lunch, or studying through.” Draco shot a soft smile at Harry and walked over. Before they walked out of the room though someone shouted Harry’s name. Harry looked back to the direction of the voice and saw Ron jogging towards them. He had an odd expression on his face, and was glancing between Harry and Draco. He took a deep breath and a nervous expression took over his face. 

“Listen mate, I’m not going to pretend to like that you’re dating Malfoy, that you spend so much time with the Slytherins, or that I trust them. But we haven’t talked in months, except for Quidditch practices. You’re my best mate, and if this is making you happy, which I honestly didn’t believe to be a possibility a few months ago, then I’ll deal with it. I’m sorry for being a prat these last few months, and I wish it wasn’t always me ruining our friendship by reacting poorly.”

Harry could not believe what he was hearing, so he blurted the only thing he could think of, “Draco and I aren’t dating.”

“Mate, you were just holding his hand and you are planning to spend the holidays with him.”

“Listening in on private conversations, Weasley?”

“Yeah,” the tips of Ron’s ears were red, “but hearing Harry say that he didn’t think we would want him at the Burrow was what kicked my arse in gear to apologize. Sorry, though, it was rude to listen.” 

Harry was quietly staring at Ron debating what he should respond with, and he settled on “Well, if you’re willing, Draco and I could probably use some help with the house during the day. Not inviting you to stay over though, mate, you or Draco would probably kill each other.” Draco scoffed but Ron looked extremely relieved. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Weeks later, Harry, Draco, Ron, and Hermione were sitting in the parlour room of number 12 Grimmauld Place sipping on tea. They had all been getting along well, but relations were still tense between Ron and Draco. They both took offense to anything the other one said, and it was slowly driving Harry mad. There wasn’t that much left to do with the house, which Harry was thankful for. Draco had set most of his energy on developing a counter-charm or potion to eliminate the permanent sticking charm as he was disgusted by the portrait of Mrs. Black and her shouting. Draco called it the most abhorrent display of a Pureblood portrait he had ever seen, which caused the portrait to stop shouting as much when someone entered. 

“Are you coming to the Burrow tomorrow for a Christmas dinner, Harry?” 

“Do you believe it is a good idea, Ronald. Last time he was there did not end well.” Hermione shot a nervous look towards Harry, probably afraid that he would be sent into another bout of depression. Harry hoped she was wrong, but afraid she might be spot on in her worrying. 

“I don’t want to divide your family anymore, Ron. The war is still fresh, they’re still hurt about my testimonies and friendships, and I’m not going to apologize for any of it, so I think it might be best to stay here. Besides I’m joining Draco at Malfoy Manor, especially since Andy and Teddy will be there.”

“I hear you mate, but Mum is going to want you there. Ginny, George, and Percy can be civil as long as we don’t talk about it.” Harry sincerely doubted it as the whole school had opinions on his friendship with the Slytherins. Ron must have seen the look on Harry’s face and decided to drop the conversation. Ron and Hermione did not stay too much longer after that, leaving Draco and Harry alone. 

“What happened last time?” Harry sighed at the question he knew was coming, but wanted to avoid for as long as possible. 

“The Weasley’s hosted a dinner for my birthday, and after I heard George, Ginny, and Percy saying awful things about me testifying for various people concerning the war. I was bent out of shape by it, and very nearly succeeded in killing myself that day. It was what helped me spiral all the way down to the shape I was at during the beginning of the term, barely eating, speaking, or living.” 

While he was talking, Draco moved over to sit next to Harry and placed his arm around Harry’s shoulders. Draco didn’t say anything in response, knowing it wouldn’t help or be enough. Harry put his head on Draco’s shoulder, and Draco started playing with Harry’s hair. They sat like that for a while. 

“Well I’m glad that it’s a bit better now, and I hope you trust me enough to tell me if it starts getting bad again.” Harry hummed in response. 

“You know, the last people to comfort me like this were probably my parents. The Dursleys despised me and it would be too awkward for my friends to do this.”

“Are we not friends?”

Harry took a deep breath, fought back all of the thoughts telling him how horrible of an idea this was, and gathered his Gryffindor courage. “I was hoping to move from friends to something more.” 

Draco’s hand faltered for a second before resuming playing with Harry’s hair. “I would like that,” he whispered. Harry let a small smile play on his lips before sitting all the way up. He looked at Draco in the eyes before leaning forward. 

“Is it alright for me to kiss you?” 

“Yes,” Draco breathed barely audibly. Harry leaned forward and placed his lips gently over Draco’s. Harry thought it was the perfect way to begin their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the comments I haven't responded to, but I promise I will. I love any comments. Thanks for reading!


	19. Forgotten Details

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco starts to feel a little stressed.

Draco looked at his study timetable and tried to battle the intense feeling of despair rising up within him. He loved Harry, but his boyfriend was taking up quite a bit of his time with Quidditch, the tutoring, and spending time together; on top of all that, he was taking nine classes and had a mandatory six hours of community service every week. Now that the second term had started, the work was becoming much more intense. He had received an E on his last paper in Astronomy instead of an O, and he needed to have perfect grades this term to even hope for an apprenticeship after he graduated. 

He put away his timetable after making some revisions, and pulled out his Potion’s homework. He felt Harry squeeze his hand under the table, and looked over at his boyfriend. He suspected that his friends might know about their relationship, even though he and Harry had been careful to keep it a secret, citing that they needed time to adjust. They had only been dating for a month. 

Harry was looking at Draco’s Potion’s homework with fondness and slight annoyance. “Must you always be doing homework, Draco? You already have high marks, the highest other than Hermione.”

“Hmmm. I won’t stop until I have higher marks than Granger.”

“Good luck with that, Malfoy. ‘Mione will always come out on top.” Draco narrowed his eyes at Weasley. He was glad Harry was happier after making up with the red-haired boy, but Draco could live without him. Harry squeezed his hand again. Suddenly the morning post owls started dropping letters everywhere, including in front of Draco. He recognized the script of his mother and opened the letter with trepidation.

> _My Dearest Draco,_
> 
> _I hope this letter finds you well, but if it does, I wonder why you did not even send a letter yesterday. I am sure you merely forgot instead of ignored the date. It was your father and I’s marriage anniversary. I expected a letter, and maybe a present, especially considering that you only came to the Manor for Christmas Dinner during your holiday break._
> 
> _I know the Potter boy is monopolizing your time, but surely you could spare a moment for the parent’s who birthed and raised you? Your father says you have not written him back since he sent his last letter, a week ago. It would be a great comfort to him, from his prison cell, to hear from you._
> 
> _Sending you all my love,_
> 
> _Mother_

Draco winced as he read his mother’s letter, knowing he deserved the passive aggressive nature. She was incredibly lonely without her social circle, him, or his father; the loneliness was the most probable reason for her to reach out to her sister after all this time. He was thankful for his aunt, though, as she visited Mother at least once a week. He pulled out some parchment from his bag to write back to his mother right away, afraid to forget again. He would buy a bouquet of flowers for her as soon as he could, and then a gift.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He looked up as he heard someone call his name and sent his boyfriend a small smile trying desperately to hide the stress he was feeling. Harry smiled back and looked around the common room for anyone else before leaning down to kiss Draco. They hadn’t wanted to tell anyone about their relationship yet due to the tense atmosphere still surrounding the Slytherins. 

“Morning, love. How did you sleep?”

“I slept nearly four hours, which is more than I should have really.”

“Draco you need to sleep more. It’s not healthy to only sleep three hours a night.” Draco heard the concern in his boyfriend’s voice and winced; Harry did not know that Draco was only sleeping that little because of the commitments he agreed to with Harry. 

“I just can’t sleep knowing I have school work to do.” Harry hummed and seemed to drop it. 

“Are we going to the Great Hall alone, or are we waiting on everybody else?”

“Waiting, I believe. I haven’t seen anyone else come down.” Harry settled into the chair beside Draco and took out his Defense Against the Dark Arts homework. Around twenty minutes later almost all of their group had joined them. They were just waiting for Hermione, and possibly Ron who usually joined her now, when Blaise looked at them in amusement. 

“I don’t understand why we are waiting on Granger, her and Weasley won’t be coming down for a while. Nev and I nearly didn’t come down to join this fun party.” Neville turned bright red and Draco raised his eyebrow at the Gryffindor who turned impossibly redder. 

“Why’s that, Blaise?” 

“It’s Valentine's Day, Draco. I’m surprised you and Harry aren’t still in bed too, now that I think of it.” Draco felt the bottom of his stomach drop; he could not believe that he had forgotten Valentine’s Day. He glanced at Harry who was looking at him in amusement, he then glanced at the rest of the group. 

“How long have you all known about Harry and I?”

“Darling, you are not even remotely secretive about your relationship.” He glared at Pansy because they were secretive about it. 

“Weasley doesn’t know.”

“That’s not saying anything, darling. I’m surprised he realizes that he is dating Hermione.” The rest of the group chuckled.

“Oi, I’m not that bad, Parkinson. What are you talking about anyway?”

“The fact that Harry and Draco have been dating since at least the start of term.” Harry and Draco both turned to glare at Blaise for outing them. Then they looked at Weasley for his reaction to the news. He looked confused. 

“I thought they already were dating, and just not telling us?”

“You do notice things, what a surprise!” Weasley glared at Pansy for that statement. Hermione laid her hand on his arm and he obviously bit back a retort. 

“Well are we going to the Great Hall? I’m starving.”

“When aren’t you hungry, Weasley?”

“I’m a growing boy, Malfoy! I also don’t want to be all pointy like you.” Everyone laughed, and Draco sulked. 

“It’s alright, Draco, I think your pointiness suits you.” Harry followed up his statement with a swift kiss on the cheek. 

“You might think you’re helping, but you are mistaken.” 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks after Valentine’s Day, Draco was sitting in the common room reading what Professor McGonagall had assigned two days ago around three in the morning. He was thinking about how tired he was when he realized that he had read an entire page without comprehending any of it. Sighing, he stiffened his resolve and trained his eyes back to the start of the page. 

He made it about three sentences before he felt himself start to fall asleep in the common room; he shook himself awake and started reading again, even though he desperately wanted to go to bed. He had tried to read the same page three times when he heard footsteps entering the common room. Draco cursed in his mind believing it was Harry in the middle of a crisis again, and then froze, horrified that he was briefly angry at his boyfriend over a mental problem he had no control over. He looked up at the figure, ashamed of himself, and saw that it was Neville. 

“Draco, mate, it’s after three. You need to give it a rest; I’m sure your grade will be fine.”

“I don’t want my grade to “be fine”, I want it to be the best! Sorry if you don’t understand having pride in your schoolwork, Longbottom!” Draco seethed at the boy, before taking a look at his face which was concerned instead of angry, making Draco feel horrible. “Sorry, Neville, I didn't mean to snap. I’m just stressed and tired.”

“You’re not tired, mate, you’re exhausted. You’re always studying when you should be sleeping and eating, and it’s not healthy. You need to sleep, eat, and take a break.” Draco ignored Neville and started to turn back to his reading. “Look, Draco, I don’t want to impose, but people are worried about you. I mean after you forgot about Pansy’s birthday yesterday-”

“What?”

“Nobody wanted to say anything, because we knew that you didn’t mean to and it would make you feel horrible. You’re just so busy with everything, that details are slipping through the cracks. It’s fine, nobody is overly hurt. We are just worried about you.”

Draco looked at the Gryffindor and felt terribly guilty over forgetting Pansy’s birthday; he hoped that Blaise had told everyone else about her birthday before yesterday so that she received gifts. He would have to look at a catalog later to buy her an appropriate gift. Then he thought about his group of friends being worried about him, which was unusual. Before this year, Goyle and Crabbe just followed him while he talked to Pansy when it was convenient; they never cared for him as more than the Prince of Slytherin, on top of the social hierarchy. 

He bowed his head and sighed. “You’re right, Neville. I am not taking care of myself, but I need to focus on my schoolwork to be accepted into any healing apprenticeship with my background.” 

“Well you still need to be alive to accept the apprenticeship. Talk to Harry, quit one of the activities you’re doing for him; he won’t be upset.”

“Perhaps you are right, Neville.” Secretly, Draco doubted it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For any comments that I didn't respond to, so sorry. I am really greatful for all the feedback. 
> 
> Also I got confused the last time I posted on the total number of chapters, but it will definitely be 24.


	20. It's Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco snaps.

Draco stared at the essay he had just been handed back in despair; he could not believe it, he looked again to verify his initial glance had been correct. He felt pure misery bubble up inside him. He watched his hopes and dreams fall apart as the last little bit of hope left him. He could not stand to look at the essay, but he could not look away. 

He felt Hermione look at him, and then look at the parchment in his hands. “Draco, it’s not that bad; you still passed. An “Acceptable” on one essay does not mean the end of an exemplary grade.”

“I barely passed, Granger; did you pass with an O, then? Is that why you’re attempting to help?” He snapped at the bushy-hair girl. He felt ashamed immediately for the harsh tone, but could not find it in himself to apologize. She sighed and started packing up her bag. Draco shoved all of his items into his own bag and stormed out of the classroom without waiting on Hermione. 

He reached the eighth year common room and saw that Harry was by the fire intently writing. Harry looked up and smiled at Draco. Draco shoved all the nastly feelings down and smiled back at his boyfriend. 

“Hey. What are you doing up so late?”

“Hi, Draco. I’m revising the tutoring schedule because Luna’s friend, Macy, can’t lead the fourth year Charms session tomorrow night.” Draco felt his eye twitch as he knew that Harry would ask him to cover the session if he had no other obvious solution. It was obvious that Harry was toning down on asking Draco to tutor since so many sixth and seventh years had volunteered. Him volunteering his time to Harry had caused him to produce such vile work for his Astronomy essay, but he could never say no to Harry. 

“If I can’t find anyone else, would you be able to cover it Draco?” There it was. 

“Absolutely love.” Merlin, why could he not be honest and say how much time Harry was taking? 

“Excellent, but I have a couple of people I want to ask tomorrow.” He beamed at Draco, and Draco realized why he was working himself until he was exhausted, just to make the man he loves happy. Harry pulled out his Transfiguration homework to work on it together with Draco, and Draco was able to push the disappointment of the essay to the back of his mind. 

Long after Harry had gone to bed, Draco still sat by the common room fire. He was glaring at his Astronomy essay and thinking back to his conversation with Neville two weeks ago. He saw the reason in telling Harry that there was too much on his plate, but he loved making Harry happy more. He just wished that the N.E.W.T.S. would come sooner; he did not think that he could last another three months. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The next day Draco was sitting in the library doing his homework for Muggle Studies when Harry burst in, looking frazzled. He looked around before spotting Draco and rushed to him. Once he reached the table, he had to take a moment to catch his breath. Draco knew what was coming, but he did not want to believe it. 

He thought of the pile of homework that he needed to do, especially with the three hour chunk of time he had dedicated to Quidditch tomorrow. He was relieved though, that they only had one three hour practice a week and still managed to be an unbeatable team. He was sure that Ron would try to force them to practice more if they weren’t so good; their third game would be in three weeks on Sunday, so hopefully they beat Gryffindor like they beat Slytherin and Ravenclaw. It would secure their claim to the Quidditch Cup, and he would have an additional three hours a week. 

“Draco, I’m so sorry for the late notice, but Andrew, the sixth year that was going to take the Charms session, had something urgent come up. Will you be able to take the session? It starts in twenty minutes.” 

Draco ground his teeth but plastered a smile on his face. “Of course. What room?”

“Brilliant! The Charms classroom on the third floor. Flitwick is more than happy to let us use it, so it should be unlocked.” Draco forced a smile and nodded. He gathered up his things and walked out of the library without another word. He felt Harry walk beside him, and then reach for his hand. Draco thought he made the movement subtle enough that Harry wouldn’t notice his evasion, but the Golden Boy had. “Is everything alright, Draco? You seem off; you’ve seemed off for a bit now.”

“It’s fine, Harry. Nothing to worry about.” Harry seemed unconvinced, but didn’t ask again. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day Draco sat beside Harry in their Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Hartley was being as nasty as usual, but Draco had become used to the cutting remarks and ignored them. He often thought this is what any house other than Slytherin felt in Snape’s class, but Harry had assured him that Hartley was nastier than Snape. Before the bell rang, Hartley handed back essays from the weekend; when Draco received his, he felt the air rush out of his lungs. 

Written at the top, Hartley had marked it as “Dreadful” and then wrote,

> _This utterly garbage essay is what I would expect from a first year that Hogwarts was wasting an education on. I thought you would be at least a little better, Deatheater, but I guess your talents are more focused on the Dark Arts portion instead of the Defense portion. If the rest of your work is this terrible, don’t bother to hand it in._

Draco felt numb, he could not believe it. He had thought receiving an “Acceptable” was the worst thing to happen, but this was far, far worse. He felt Harry grab his hand, which he jerked away; he didn’t look up to see Harry’s face at this reaction, but saw Harry’s hand hover beside Draco’s out of the corner of his eye. The bell rang, and Draco once again shoved his work into his bag as fast as possible. All he could think of was how he would have had time to edit the essay had he only said no to Harry’s request to tutor Charms yesterday. He stood up and hurried out of the door, with Harry hot on his heels. 

“Draco, it’s not that bad. It’s your first bad grade of the year, you’ll recover.” Draco let out a mirthless laugh. 

“But it’s not my first bad grade, Potter. Ever since you started dominating even more of my limited free time, my grades have been slipping.” 

“What?” Harry looked stricken and Draco almost stopped, but the months of building stress had finally started pouring out. 

“You, Potter, know that I have to make as good of grades as possible to have any chance of being awarded a Healer apprenticeship. Although you know this, you are constantly asking me for time! Try out for Quidditch, Draco! Tutor this session, Draco! Don’t spend so much time in the library, Draco! Sleep more, Draco! Eat more, Draco! Well it’s too much and I don’t have time for it all! I don’t have time to think! I don’t have time to study! I don’t have time to write to my parents! All because I have been so focused on you!” 

With every sharp statement, Harry’s face grew more and more closed off. Draco felt his entire stomach coat with ice. He was about to apologize when Weasley burst out of the Defense classroom, and stood in front of Harry. 

“Oi, Malfoy! Back off, you git!”

“No you back off, Weasley! Don’t stick your nose into their business!” Pansy appeared by Draco’s side with her own wand out. At this point Harry seemed to break out of his thoughts, and turn on his heel to run down the corridor. Weasley looked between Malfoy and Harry before starting to turn towards his friend running away, but at that moment Hartley walked out of the classroom. 

“I heard shouting. It looks like the Deatheaters have ganged up on one of the Wizarding World heroes. Wait until I tell the Headmaster.”

“That’s not true! It’s a misunderstanding, and Ron drew his wand first.” Weasley sent a betrayed look to Hermione, but nodded his head to go along with her story. 

“Oh, well I’m sure they deserved it, but I can’t just let this go without any consequences. Let’s see, oh 50 points from the eighth years, and detention for Weasley, Malfoy, and Parkinson. One night for Weasley of lines, and two weeks of scrubbing with Filch for Malfoy and Parkinson. Yes, that seems fair. I’ll send an owl with the times later today.” With that sentence issued, Hartley walked back into his classroom. Hermione and Weasley looked at each and then to the way that Harry had run off. 

“We won’t be able to find him quickly, would you know where he went to Draco?” Hermione asked in a neutral voice, obviously upset but probably seeing the fall-out coming a long time ago. 

“I don’t know, but I would check the room that he tutors DADA in.” She nodded and grabbed Weasley’s arm, pulling him in that direction. 

Draco could not believe that he said all of those nasty, horrible things to Harry; he knew how it would affect him, but he could not seem to stop himself. Merlin, he was an awful human and he deserved to be expelled followed by being thrown into Azkaban. There was no way he could apologize enough for that horrendous blow up. Suddenly he was hit in the arm, and looked over to Pansy who was glaring at him furiously. 

“How could you?” she whispered menacingly. “You don’t deserve him. We all saw this blow up coming, we warned you, and told you to lessen the load. But you didn’t listen! Then you went and spoiled the best relationship you will ever have, Draco Malfoy. All over a bad grade, that was probably grade unfairly in the first place! Don’t talk to any of us until you’ve nearly made this right!” 

After saying her piece, Pansy spun around and stormed down the corridor. Blaise and Nevill spared a glance at him, then followed her. Draco knew he deserved every bit of his friend’s ire. He walked down away from Hartley’s classroom, then buried his face in his hands, and breathed deeply to push the feelings away. After he collected himself, he rushed to look for Harry hoping it wasn’t too late.


	21. A Moon's Tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone shares their point of view with Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I doubled posted because I really hated the last chapter, honestly.

Harry ran down the corridor feeling tears cascade down his face, a lump in his throat that made it difficult for him to catch his breath, and his heart continuously shattering from the argument he had with Draco. His thoughts were racing around his mind wildly, making it difficult for him to focus on one. He ran without direction, without seeing his surroundings, without care for his fellow students that were surely around him. He ran and ran. 

Then, without thinking about it, he stopped in front of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom; he walked in and tried to calm his breathing. He sunk down against the wall on the far side of the room, and grabbed fistfuls of his hair to try and make his thoughts calm down enough so he could gather him. Once he was able to string them together, he started breathing harder. They were screaming at him, “you deserved it, freak; you took too much and pushed him away; you should have just worked harder to end yourself and you would not have broken him; just end it now and save all the people you care about from yourself.” 

The tears that were building finally slipped out, and Harry was sobbing. He could barely catch his breath from his mad dash from the seventh floor to here, and now the sobbing was making it almost impossible. He drew out his wand, ready to end himself since he was only going to cause pain to everyone he loved. He hesitated and thought of the younger students that he unconsciously found a purpose with; he suddenly realized that he truly went from merely surviving to living when he started tutoring, really teaching since Hartley was rubbish. Then he reasoned with himself that in the long run Hartley would certainly punish them, ensuring that he did more harm than good. Stiffening his resolve, Harry started to cast the curse that would open his veins, but stopped when he thought of Ida who was so very brave and the possibility that she might find him since this was a girl’s bathroom. 

Lowering his wand, he found that he could no longer bring himself to end his life; this would have been more of a comfort if Harry was not so miserable. He deserved to die because he only ever hurt the people he loved, so many people died in the war because of him, and he had somehow survived the killing curse twice while more noble people never breathed again. Pointing his wand at his wrist for a third time, hoping that he was brave enough to do what needs to be done, he started to cast the spell that would end him. 

“Do you know why I fought for your side in the Battle of Hogwarts, Potter?” Harry looked up, startled at the sudden emergence of a voice that wasn’t Myrtle's in the bathroom with him. He saw an older girl that he vaguely recognized, but he could not remember from where. She was tall, taller than him, with blonde hair like Luna’s and dark eyes, and was wearing Gryffindor robes; she held herself like most of the purebloods he knew. That was when he remembered her, the other eighth year Gryffindor girl, Lily Moon. 

“No, I’m afraid I don’t.” She gazed at him with narrowed eyes, seemingly debating with herself if she should continue, even though she was the one to start the conversation. She finally gave a short nod, and sat across from him. 

“My father was a Death Eater, and my mother was neutral; it was an arranged marriage because of some school yard oath by their own parents, which is why once I was conceived they never looked at each other again. My mother raised me to be respectable unlike her family, and my father raised me to be feared; he was constantly afraid that I would turn out like Mother’s family, the Lovegood’s. They both taught me to believe that Muggle-borns were lesser magical beings and Muggles were the scum of the Earth, and I should never be outdone by a Muggle-born. When I came to Hogwarts and was sorted into Gryffindor, it confused me as the rest of my family were in Ravenclaw or Slytherin. I quickly befriended Sally Smith, whose family was upset she wasn’t in Hufflepuff since she was a descendent of Helga Hufflepuff; we had the common ground of being family disappointments.” 

Lily gave a short humourless laugh at the end of her sentence, she looked unbearably sad. He felt a pang of guilt as he thought of the girl in his year and house that died without him even knowing her. 

“That first year I was disturbed that Granger constantly outperformed all of us Purebloods, and I despised how much attention you constantly stole from the rest of us. We were basically invisible! Then the years progressed, Granger still came out on top, you still garnered all the attention, but I saw everyone turn against you multiple times over misunderstandings and jealousy. I stopped being jealous of you after the Triwizard Tournament final task conclusion, when I realized that your life wasn’t your own, but was being controlled by both sides of the war. However, I still never liked you or Dumbledore, and Sally felt the same. When seventh year rolled around, and the Dark Lord was murdering people for being Muggle-borns, I finally made my decision on which side I was. I still believed that Muggle-borns were beneath pure-bloods, but any drop of magical blood spilled is a waste; so I turned away from my father’s teachings, that constantly spilt precious magical blood.” 

Again Lily paused, looking very angry. She took a deep breath, and continued. 

“I decided to fight for the side that wasn’t wasting magical blood, and Sally’s family were always on the side of the light. My father decided to end his shameful bloodline himself during the Battle. Sally died taking a curse directed at me, from my own father; in my shock and grief, I used the killing curse on my own father. When the battle was over, I waited for my summons because I used an unforgivable with nobody pressuring me too. I never received them, while other people our age who only used the unforgivables under force, were in Azkaban. I watched as you came to Sally’s funeral, read the news of how you testified for everyone on trial that was Hogwarts age, who were pressured to choose the dark side, and then how you just disappeared after Mrs. Malfoy’s trial. For the first time I began to respect you because I agreed with your stance that nobody our age really had a choice. Yes, I went against my father, but I would have died for that choice; I do not fault anyone our age who made the choice to live.”

Lily had looked unbelievably sad during this part of her speech, but her face suddenly turned hard. 

“Then you came back and the little bit of respect I had for you was lost. I could understand that you would be upset the war happened, and be upset for all the people you knew that died. I could not fathom how you could be so arrogant to believe that everyone who died was because you. Sally and I did not choose to fight for you, I chose to fight to stop wasting magical blood, and she fought for what was right. Sally did not choose to die for you, she died for me! Stop blaming yourself for the actions of a lunatic and his followers, you arrogant boy! It’s time for you to realize that the war might have revolved around you, Dumbledore, and the Dark Lord, but the rest of us didn’t fight just because of you three! We fought because innocent lives deserved to be saved, and if lives were lost, we chose to lose them to save someone who didn’t have a choice! Sally chose to fight for people who would never have a choice to fight against oppression! ” 

Lily was breathing hard while finishing her tale, and when she finished saying her piece, she broke down into tears.


	22. Lily, Heartbreak, and Quidditch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry gains a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly could not think of a name for this chapter, so if anybody has a different name that would be better, please tell me. Thanks for reading!

Harry stared at the blonde girl breaking down in front of him, unsure of what to do. He decided to give her some privacy and look away, and thought of what she had said. Countless people had told him the war was not his fault, that the deaths were not his fault, and he was unjustly carrying the blame, but he always thought they were just saying that to try and help. It took the words of a girl that told him she did not like him or fight for him, that had finally made him truly believe it was not his fault. “Dr. Johnson will be pissed,” was the thought that suddenly popped into his mind, and he had to stifle the bubble of laughter that threatened to escape. 

When Lily Moon had re-gathered her composure, Harry looked at her. He wanted to apologize, but thought it would infuriate her. Instead he said, “Thank you.” She nodded but continued to look away from him. He decided to add, “I’m sorry for your loss.” She nodded again, but looked toward him. She looked conflicted, but chose to speak anyways. 

“Zacharias asked me to pass along his apology for cursing you at Sally’s funeral a month ago. He and Sally were twins, sorted into different houses; he basically disowned her for not being in Hufflepuff. When he discovered that Sally had fought and died in the battle that he ran away from, he attacked pretty much anyone who spoke to him; it wasn’t the best way for him to deal with his grief, but the prick is finally starting to become a better person. I wasn’t going to tell you because I was angry with you, so don’t make me regret it Potter.” 

“I’ll try my best.” He hesitated before saying his next sentence, “You’re the second Lily to save my life.”

“I don’t think you were going to do it; you started finding your own path not forged by people forcing their expectations on you and realized it makes you happy.”

“How do you know that?”

“The eighth year common room is always filled with chatter on what you are doing.”

“I haven’t noticed you around, though.”

“We are two of the eight people in Care of Magical Creatures, how?”

Because he barely pays attention to anyone other than his circle, and he was ashamed to realize that. “I guess I’ve always been wrapped up in my own world, sorry about that.”

She waved off the apology. “We all are at times, you just seem to be less aware of everyone else than most. Probably comes from being the chosen one and Dumbledore’s favorite.” He winced and felt ashamed again. She chuckled and asked, “So what happened?”

Harry looked over to the bathroom door, briefly thinking of leaving, but answered her, “Draco has been very stressed, which I noticed and had tried to persuade him to take it easy. Hartley failed his essay, and he lost his cool at me. I hadn’t realized that I was taking up so much time or that it was my fault he wasn’t sleeping or eating much.” Harry felt a wave of remorse at his own unawareness. 

She hummed noncommittally and said, “Yeah, well he could have easily said no. I heard Hartley was a bigger dick than Snape when he was a professor, so Malfoy should not have been so upset to “lose his cool” bad enough to cause you to almost relapse.” 

Harry did not necessarily believe her, but did not want to argue about it. “Why were you here?”

She looked uncomfortable, but answered, “I ask Myrtle every week if there are any new ghosts from the Battle; it’s silly to think Sally would be afraid of what’s beyond, but I want to thank her.” 

Harry was quiet for a spell. “I don’t think it’s silly,” he whispered. He cleared his throat as he watched Lily close her eyes. “Why do you use Muggle slang?”

She raised her eyebrows, “My mother disowned me after the Battle because she did not agree with my stance, so I stayed in Muggle London until the beginning of this term. I volunteered because it wasn’t fair that I wasn’t ordered to do community service. I picked up a bit of slang when a few children poked fun at me for my dialect.”

He nodded, “Children can be cruel, but helping them learn can be incredibly rewarding.” 

She raised her eyebrow, “I’ll take your word on that; I think I’ll stick with learning the secrets of wandmaking.” Harry was intrigued by this statement and asked Lily about wandmaking, which she looked pleased to discuss. 

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Harry and Lily spent the next hour talking, until Harry cast a tempus charm and discovered that he had already missed half of Quidditch practice. He said his goodbyes to Lily and rushed to the Quidditch pitch. He was relieved that Ron had seemed to take charge of the practice, but was upset to see that Draco was not there. He wanted to talk to his boyfriend, but had no idea what to say. Ron greeted him cheerily when he saw Harry, and whispered, “Thank Merlin, you’re ok. I was worried about you, but Hermione told me to come here in case you showed up while she looked around the castle. I’ll send her a quick Patronus to call off the search.” Harry nodded and led the rest of Quidditch practice. When practice was over, Hermione, Neville, Pansy, and Blaise were waiting on him; they all hugged him. 

“Where’s Draco?” They looked among themselves before Hermione answered. 

“He helped look for you, but when we received word of where you were, he left. We don’t know where he went.” Harry nodded quietly, but on the inside he was screaming. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been three weeks since that dreadful Defense Against the Dark Arts class, and Draco had not spoken to Harry at all. Harry had spent the first week trying to speak to Draco, but the blonde boy ran away from him anytime Harry was close. Harry knew that Draco was not eating, sleeping, or socializing because Neville told him when Harry asked. Pansy and Blaise were still not talking to Draco, and Harry felt immeasurably sad for the boy. The only time Harry saw Draco now was Quidditch practice and the classes they shared, and the boy looked terrible. 

Lily Moon had joined their group, although she still seemed put off by Hermione; she was trying to shake what she was raised to believe, but it was a difficult thing to do. Lily and Pansy were quickly becoming the best of friends, though, which did not surprise anyone. Lily seemed to be completely over her past hatred of Harry, and he planned to invite her to live in Grimmauld Place with him when the term was over since she didn’t have housing in London after this term. He knew Pansy and Blaise were planning on moving to London as well, so he wanted to extend the invitation to them as well. It was a huge house, and he thought it was probably best to not start living alone again. 

Harry was surprised to see Draco in the locker room before their last Quidditch match, as he was the last to show up and first to leave during their last practices. Harry gave a pep talk and the team strode out to the field. Harry thought about trying to talk to Draco now, but decided that would be unfair to the blonde boy. They were playing against Gryffindor, and Harry was not looking forward to the match. It would be the first time since his birthday that he would be in close proximity to Ginny, for one, and secondly, he did not want to face his old teammates; however, everyone else on the team, except for Ron, had already played against their old teammates. 

He walked to the middle of the pitch and approached Ginny and Madame Hooch; Madame Hooch gave her usual speech and Harry held out his hand to Ginny. He decided to try and be friendly, “May the best team win.” Ginny scoffed and did not shake his hand. She spun away to her team without a word. “Well ok then,” he spoke to no one and walked back to his team. Madame Hooch blew her whistle, and the game started. 

Two hours later, there were multiple penalties from Gryffindor and a score of 240 to 220 with Gryffindor in the lead. Ginny had the Quaffle and was racing towards the goalposts, and Harry groaned because Ron had not blocked a single one of Ginny’s goals; Ginny had spent years learning Ron’s goalkeeping style and moves, and Ron had never taken Ginny’s skill seriously. Ginny scored, unsurprisingly, and Gryffindor led by 30 points; Harry desperately looked for the Snitch. Miraculously he saw the tiny golden ball flutter in the distance, and Draco seemed to be heading in that direction. Not wanting to tip the Gryffindor seeker, who was much closer to the Snitch, of its location, Harry pretended to fly to Draco who looked so startled he almost dropped the Quaffle. Harry jerked his broom up at the last second and grabbed the Snitch, ending the game and winning the Quidditch Cup for the eighth years. 

Harry tried to find Draco in the celebrating locker room, but the blonde boy slipped out as soon as he changed from his Quidditch robes. Harry ignored the celebrating and started out of the locker room to find Draco. Outside of the locker room, though, he ran into Snape. “Oh, hello, sir.”

“Mr. Potter, I was waiting for you. Walk with me.” Snape turned around and Harry had no choice but to follow.


	23. The Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape talks to Harry, and Harry talks to Draco.

“Congratulations on an excellent Quidditch season; I am happy to have the Quidditch Cup in my office for one last year.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“I was afraid that it would be too much responsibility, but I seemed to have judged you aptly. Now that this commitment has ended, I would like to present you with another one. It will last much longer than one Quidditch season, though. I will not pressure you into a decision though.” 

“Alright, sir. What is it?”

“Let us discuss it in my office. I know what the professors are reporting concerning grades and I’ve talked to a few students who participate, but I would like to know how you feel like the tutoring program is going.”

“I believe it is going very well, but we could use a few more tutors.”

“Indeed? Well, next year I will have the professors single out talented sixth and seventh years to ask them. The professors, with one exception, all agree that the program is extremely beneficial now. They, admittedly, were not fans to begin with.”

“I appreciate you taking the ire of the professors for us.”

“Indeed.” Harry and Snape had reached the gargoyle leading up to the headmaster’s office. “I believe that I will set up office hours for the students to voice their concerns to me and to be more accessible next year. What do you think, Mr. Potter?”

Harry raised his eyebrows in surprise, but nodded. “I believe the idea has merit.” Snape hummed. They walked up the stairs and Harry took a seat. Snape folded his hands in front of him and breathed deeply. 

“I never thought I would be doing this, but I believe it would be foolish not to. It does irk me that I am showing the same disregard of the rules concerning you that Dumbledore did, but I will swallow my ire. Mr. Potter you are an extremely talented wizard in the field of Defense Against the Dark Arts. I am also very impressed by your teaching skills, both this year and when you led ‘Dumbledore’s Army.’ Don’t let it go to your already over-inflated head, Potter. What are your plans for after this term?”

Harry was surprised by Snape’s question, and had to think of his answer. “I’m not entirely sure, sir, but I do not believe I want to be an auror. I have spent enough time chasing dark wizards as it is.” Snape raised his eyebrow, and Harry cringed a bit that his joke fell flat. 

“Indeed. Well as I’m sure you know, typically Hogwarts requires three years of real-life experience before becoming a professor.” Snape paused and Harry nodded to show that he did know that. “Well, I am prepared to count your experiences during your schooling as that experience, as well as last year. That being said, Hartley is not coming back next year; I will not tolerate a professor who treats students as nasty as I did.” A look of regret passed over Snape’s face, but he continued. “So, Mr. Potter, I want to ask if you would consider being a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor; I believe it could be a good fit. However, I will require a few things.”

Harry was stunned by Snape’s offer. He realized that he wanted to accept the offer, but was wondering if he would be rushing such a big decision. “What are the requirements?”

“You will need to have at least five N.E.W.T.S., the first three years will be probationary years to avoid another professor like myself or Hartley, and you will need to spend at least four nights a week in Hogwarts. However, any future spouse or family will be permitted to stay with you here on those nights.” Harry was surprised by the list.

“I thought all professors lived here, sir? Also, the other two requirements aren’t already required?” Snape snorted.

“Most live here, but the only professors required to live here are the Head of Houses. No, there are no previous requirements to be a professor; it was one of the things I hope to change.” Harry nodded. 

“Can I have a bit to think about it?”

“I would expect you to ponder such a monumental decision, Potter.” Harry felt his cheeks burn at the tone in Snape’s voice. Harry nodded, and Snape dismissed him with a wave of his hand. 

Harry walked out of Snape’s office, stunned at the discussion that had just happened. He walked into the eighth year’s common room and noticed that everybody was celebrating; he didn’t want to celebrate, he wanted to talk to his boyfriend. He looked for Draco in the crowd but couldn’t find the blonde boy. He weaved through the bodies and went into his dorm room. Harry had been refraining from using the Marauder’s Map to find Draco, since his boyfriend was obviously avoiding him, but he pulled out the map and looked for Draco’s name when he opened his trunk. 

Finding the dot in the library, Harry headed that direction. It didn’t take long to reach his destination and he found Draco in the back of the library, near the restricted section. Draco was so engulfed in his homework that he did not look up when Harry approached, but he jumped when Harry cleared his throat. He looked at Harry with wide eyes, and then darted his eyes around the room. 

“Hey, Draco. Can I sit?” Harry had his hand on the back of a chair, and Draco stared at it for a few long moments before jerking his shoulder. Taking a deep breath, Harry pressed forward, “Can we talk?”

Draco’s mouth opened and closed a few times before he took a deep breath that he released in an audible sigh. “I didn’t think you would want to talk to me ever again; I was terrible to you.” Draco still wasn’t looking at Harry. 

“Well, yeah, but it’s my fault for asking for so much.” Draco’s eyes finally found his and Harry nearly flinched from the way they burned. 

He practically hissed, “It is not your fault Harry. I should have said something before it got so bad! Please tell you weren’t blaming yourself. I was terrible to you, and you should never want to speak to me again.”

“Yes Draco, you should have said something, but you’re beating yourself up too much.”

“On the contrary, I am not beating myself up enough. Harry what if you had relapsed?”

“I almost did, but then Lily stopped me. We’re friends now, so something good came out of that day.” Harry regretted admitting to Draco what had happened, because the look of pure misery on his face was something Harry never wanted to see. 

“Merlin, Harry. How can you stand to be around me?”

“Because I love you, you git! I’ve missed you, and I want us to discuss what happened.” 

Draco was silent for a few long moments before speaking. “I was overwhelmed, upset over something that doesn’t even really matter, and took it out on you, very harshly. I very much regret what happened, and want to do nothing more than apologize. However, I know that I don’t deserve your forgiveness or to ever talk to you again, but I’m extremely sorry for what happened. I want nothing more than to take it back.”

“Draco, why didn’t you tell me that I was asking for too much of your time?”

“I just wanted to make you happy, and I was afraid of your reaction if I told you how much time you were taking.”

“Well we definitely need to work on communicating better for our relationship.” Draco looked surprised. 

“What relationship? I don’t deserve you, your forgiveness, or your friendship.”

“Of course I forgive you Draco! I love you, I miss you, and you’re one of my closest friends. I want to learn from this and move past it, can we please do that?”

“Are you sure, Harry?”

“Of course I’m sure. Can we please start working on being ok?” 

Draco looked unsure, but slowly nodded. “I love you too, Harry.”

Harry smiled at Draco and leaned over to kiss his boyfriend. They weren’t a perfect couple without any issues, but Harry hoped their relationship could come out stronger after this bump in the road and any future hiccups. Harry pulled back and smiled; he felt ready to burst from happiness both from making up with Draco and the potential to actually teach next year.

“So I just finished having a discussion with Professor Snape. If I meet some basic requirements, he wants to have me become the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor next year.” 

Draco blinked and then broke out into a grin. “Harry that’s fantastic! I’m so happy for you!” 

“Thanks. Yeah, I hope it’ll work out. I also wanted to talk to you about moving into Grimmauld Place with me after this year. Lily, Pansy, and Blaise too because I have the room.” 

Draco blinked again, and his smile was more hesitant this time. “Well that’s certainly a step.”

“Think about it.” Harry leaned over and kissed his boyfriend again.


	24. Graduation and N.E.W.T.S. Results

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The school year comes to an end.

Harry woke up and stared at the canopy of his bed for longer than normal, not entirely believing that this was his last day as a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Harry felt both happy and sad about it, Hermione or Draco would know the word for how he was feeling. Although he would no longer be a student, he was desperately hoping to come back the next year as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, but for that to happen he would need at least three N.E.W.T.S. He swallowed the feeling of anxiety over the thought of the N.E.W.T.S. He believed he did well on them, but he was admittedly distracted by one thing or another all year and did not study as much as Hermione or Draco. 

There was no changing it now, though, as they had taken the exams the week prior. The results would come in the middle of July, and he would go from there. Pushing himself up and out of bed with that thought, Harry stood staring at the dorm room he had shared with Blaise and Michael Corner all year. They all had packed the night before, so the room was empty. Harry briefly wondered what would happen with the eighth year rooms after this year, and then thought Snape probably had an idea of what he was going to do with them. The new headmaster was trying to repair faith in the school, and Harry thought that Snape would probably succeed in whatever he did for the repairs. He had told Harry of a couple of his ideas for better inter-house unity, and they were brilliant. 

Harry thought back to the first time he had walked into this room, and could not believe so much had changed in a year. He no longer wanted to kill himself (though the sudden urge would occasionally sneak up which Dr. Johnson said was normal and gave him techniques to cope with it), Draco Malfoy was his boyfriend and the person he trusted most, Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson were two of his closest friends as well, as was Lily Moon who he had never spoken to before this year, and he regularly had friendly chats with Snape when he left for his therapy sessions. It was strange to think about, but he was pleased with the progress. Harry dressed in the clothes he had left out of his trunk, put his pajamas into his trunk, and walked out of the room. 

He walked into the eighth year common room and smiled when he saw Draco, sitting in front of the fire with Blaise and Pansy. He went over to his boyfriend and kissed him on the cheek; Draco looked over and smiled at him before kissing him lightly on the lips. “Morning, love,” Harry whispered. Draco smiled at Harry before kissing him again. 

“Isn’t it lovely that the N.E.W.T.S. are over and Draco isn’t studying all the time? Too bad he’s using his previous studying time to snog Potter.” Draco pulled away from Harry to shoot a glare at Pansy. Harry laughed and distracted his boyfriend before he insulted the witch. 

“You’re just jealous, Pansy. When are you moving into Grimmauld Place?” 

She snorted at the comment about being jealous, but then smiled softly at Harry. “Right after we leave the train, if that’s alright.” 

“Perfect. Blaise?” 

“Tomorrow. I will be spending time with my mother tonight.” Harry nodded and laid his head down on Draco’s shoulder. He knew the blonde boy would be moving in that night as well, but he had to tell Narcissa this afternoon. Harry had offered to go with Draco, but was relieved when Draco declined. The group chatted easily, and easily greeted their friends when they walked into the room. Ron was the last person to walk down, and then grinned at them. 

“Can you believe it’s finally over? I’m ready for a change of scenery, but I will miss the food.” 

“I’m sure you will always be able to find food, Weasel.” Ron sneered at Draco. The two teens still didn’t like each other, but they were civil now compared to what they were before. The friends stood up and walked to the Great Hall together. The end of the year feast would be later, but the Great Hall was already decorated with the Ravenclaw banners. Harry saw a first year running towards him, and smiled at Ida. She hugged him and he hugged her back. 

“I’ll miss you, Harry. Thanks for the help this year.” She smiled up at him, and Harry grinned back at her. 

“It was my pleasure, Ida. I’m glad you asked for my help; you helped me more than you will ever know.” Ida looked confused but smiled. She went back to the Gryffindor table, and Harry started walking towards the eighth year table again. He was stopped again, this time by Ginny, and Harry braced himself for an argument. She stared at him for an intense few seconds before holding out her hand. Harry looked down at it, and then back at her face before shaking the hand offered. 

“Good luck out there, Harry.” 

“You too, Ginny.” She nodded and walked back to the Gryffindor table. Harry reached the eighth year’s table and looked at Ron, who was frowning while staring at Ginny. He looked over to Harry when Hermione elbowed him, and Harry smiled at his oldest friend. Harry hoped that Ginny’s acknowledgement meant that he would be able to salvage his relationship with the Weasley’s; he desperately wanted to talk to Mrs. Weasley and explain this past year, he felt she deserved that at least. 

They ate, did what they needed to wrap up the details of their last year at Hogwarts, and then rode the boats across the lake. Harry turned around to stare at the castle and remembered the first trip across; he was still dazzled by the castle. Harry did not think he would ever be able to accurately describe what Hogwarts meant to him, but it was his first true home and held memories that would continue to shape him forever. He faced back the right way, and felt excited to look forward to seeing what his future held. 

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Harry sat in his kitchen reading a book about Defense Against the Dark Arts, and rolled his eyes at Dobby and Kreacher arguing. Dobby had decided to take a break and live with Harry for the summer; Kreacher was not pleased with this development, especially since Dobby kept doing housework. Kreacher felt it was a slight against his pride, and Harry had no idea what to do about it. He looked up as Draco walked in, already dressed and ready for the day; Harry was still in his pajamas and his hair was hopeless, but Draco said nothing, his glare spoke volumes. Harry shrugged and went back to reading his book. A plate of food suddenly landed on the table and he thanked Kreacher.

He was surprised to hear footsteps coming in shortly after Draco’s, and looked up to see Lily walk in. She waved at them, and was also already dressed for the day. She never woke up this late, as Ollivander required her to be at his shop before sunrise. She was enjoying her apprenticeship already, and Harry was happy for her. She took a seat at the table with the food Kreacher and Dobby had made. Shortly after her, Pansy walked down, and Harry was stunned. Pansy never woke up this early, and Harry started wracking his brain for the reason she was already up. Neville and Blaise walked in right behind Pansy, which made Draco raise his eyebrow at the pair; Neville predictably blushed and Blaise grinned. 

Harry did not need to wonder over the reason why everyone was eating breakfast for long because the morning post answered his unsaid question. He stared at the envelope that would reveal the results of his N.E.W.T.S. and felt slightly sick with the nerves. He breathed deeply, and opened the letter. 

Studies _E_  
Defense Against the Dark Arts _O_  
Transfiguration _E_  
Herbology _A_  
Charms _E_  
Potions _A_  
Care of Magical Creatures _A_  


Harry couldn’t believe it, he had passed all of his N.E.W.T.S. He would need to floo Snape later and officially accept the professor position. He looked over to Draco, but could not tell if he had good news or bad news. He reached over to grab his boyfriend’s hand, and Draco looked up. A beat of silence passed before Draco smiled, and Harry grinned in response. Everyone around the table started to congratulate each other, and Harry grinned. He was surprised by the path life was taking, but he was extremely happy with the path he was on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone who read this story, commented, left kudos, and all of it. I hope you enjoyed it, and I loves you all.
> 
> On a side note, I am writing a sequel set six years in the future with Professor Harry and Healer Draco at Hogwarts, happy with their lives. Then a twist.


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